Scarlet Memories
by RavenRois
Summary: Hijikata and Chizuru meets in a different way. She was an innocent girl who became the woman of the night. Scarred and her spirits crumbling down, she'd be found by a man whose red strings of fate would intertwine with hers in one fateful night. Would he be able to make her feel once more? How would he turn her wheel of fate?
1. Lost and Hollow

**Lost and Hollow**

_Life doesn't always work out the way you imagined it to be. I was once an innocent, naïve girl who's got an image of what her life would be in the future playing in her head. Yes, a girl whose little joys in life includes having a new outfit for the spring festival and eating dango while enjoying some tea in the garden. That girl who believed that there is a good in everything no matter how evil it may appear to be, where is she now? _

_For a long while that girl got tossed into a world that she knows not of, a world known to many as reality. To others who weren't as sheltered as that girl, the world with its sin and filth is part of the natural order of things but to her it was like a long procession in a dungeon full of agony leisurely leading her to her demise. Played around the ravenous claws of men who are willing to spare some gold coins just to quench their insatiable lust, her once pleasant dreams were stripped away from her along with her dignity, in exchange for nightmares and dishonor. How I loathe that girl for allowing herself to be used and abused. If there is one thing that girl is thankful for at her time of despair though, it was the extra strength that the gods granted her to not take her own life after deciding that she's had enough._

_I can still clearly remember everything like it happened yesterday. It was a place of light and beauty. The lights hide the shadows in the hearts of the ladies who are displayed behind wooden bars like dolls and those who peeked and posed on the balconies attracting the next catch for the night. The lights also guide those who wander into the district to the small haven where a nice sake and warm bosom awaits to comfort and to please. In that place beauty is both a gift and a curse, beauty can either save you or break you. Truth be said, I'm not sure if I can call it beauty if it was an effect of flashy decorations, colorful clothes and make-up but these are the necessary ingredients to make the illusion that everything is just fine. _

_A series of unfortunate events lead me to that place. For a while I remember being kept as some sort of an apprentice. I ran errands her and there, helping out whenever I can. At that point I told myself that I would do just fine if I continue what I was doing and even thought that a good job at washing the clothes and cleaning the baths would save me from the fate of those lovely looking dolls but I was wrong. Before I knew it my innocence was up for a bid._

_They bathed me and clad me in robes of silk and glimmering accessories. I can still remember the cold brush as it touched my lips for the first time to tint it red. The white powder and the colors placed in my eyes felt uncomfortable but I remembered being told that from then on those were my weapons. A mirror was placed in front of me, for a long while I stared at it, unable believe that it was really me on the reflection. I remembered shivering a bit in fear not knowing what would become of me but I smiled at the reflection of myself nonetheless, admiring myself one last time._

_I was lead to a huge room occupying the top floor of the brothel. 'Remember the things I told you. Just be a good girl and make sure that the master is pleased. He paid a good price for you' Those were the last things whispered to me by the manager of the brothel before the door was slid open and I was led in then left behind. I knelt with my head down not knowing what to do or what to say. I was then asked to lift my head and come closer. I didn't expect to see a noble looking young man. He smiled at me and asked me to pour him some wine. I obediently did as he said despite the fear I felt in my heart. For a while I was just pouring wine for him but soon enough his true nature was revealed. He started touching me in inappropriate places and his gentle smile turned into a licentious grin. I was told not to refuse or resist but I remembered desperately pulling away, scratching and pushing the man as he yanked my robes away from my body, exposing my flesh to his hungry eyes. The fight I put up was not enough, after being slaved away as a cleaning lady and fed insufficiently, the last morsels of strength left in my body slipped away. He seemed to enjoy the fact that I put up a fight and he caught me like a cat pouncing on a mouse cornered in an alley. _

_I can't scream or cry but I can still remember the fear that paralyzed my body as he started caressing me and tasting me lewdly. For one last time I tried my luck and pleaded that he stop but he replied with a maniacal laugh and removed his clothes in haste. He rubbed his body against mine and knowing what would happen next I started screaming. He slapped me hard, almost knocking my lights. No one has ever done that to me. Tears uncontrollably fell from my eyes as he shoved a repugnant smelling piece of cloth into my mouth. That harmless looking man turned into a monster. A monster who disregarded my inexperience and took me without even the slightest hint of gentleness. Pushing and shoving himself deep into me, thinking only of his own pleasure. All I can do was watch as my body got slowly defiled. I closed my eyes through the disgust and pain but it didn't help. The moment he was finished with me my tears have already gone dry and a deep scar was embedded in my soul. _

_He left me like am unwanted toy in the middle of the room, bleeding and broken. I didn't move a muscle for I don't know how long. Pain and fear mixed in me like poison coursing and pulsing through my veins but instead of making me numb it made me more aware of everything. My mind then went blank. I really just wanted to die. Finally a couple of women who were in the business way longer than me came and picked me up. They both shed a tear for me and helped me up. They bathed me and threw me in fresh robes. They gave me words of encouragement and told me to rest but I couldn't rest and I knew that I could never feel better._

_The manager was pleased with me because the man asked and paid for me to be reserved only for him. I never wanted that nightmare to be repeated but those who were there longer than me told me that I was lucky for I wouldn't have to be passed on from one man to the other while I was reserved for him. The man came twice a week for two months. Until finally one night he got killed, his head chopped off, by a group of men who were feared by almost everyone in the city. _

_I was thankful for that man's death that I gathered some information about those who killed him. I wanted to see the men who unknowingly avenged me. I learnt that every day in both morning and afternoon they patrol the streets of Kyoto. I can never leave the red light district, because if I do I'd be hunted down like a dog but I found a way to see them even from afar. Since our brothel was quite grand and tall, for a couple of days I climbed the roof waiting to see the group of men marching in their light blue robes. Finally I saw them. When I did, I whispered thanks to the wind, hoping that it would reach them. I was aware that they don't have the best reputation and some of their men are lecherous gluttons too who would visit the district when they can but still they eliminated that monster for me. _

_It was just a while till I was up for display like the others. Things got worse for me as I became just another doll for sale. The rising of the sun became my favorite thing because it signifies that the long and almost endless night is over. Every day I would spend time cleaning myself hoping to erase any saliva, scent or mark left in my body by those hounds but no matter how much I wash, scrub and rinse, I know that the filth would never wear off. Shoving that bitter medicine given to us to avoid conception down my throat became a morning routine. I was utterly disgusted with myself. I did my best with putting on my make-up so that I never have to see the face who belongs to the girl I used to know. _

_Just six months in the market and I learnt to accept the name given to me by the manager, Sakura. It was a name I used to guise the name that is now tainted. Slowly I learnt how to become numb. Slowly losing hope with myself and everything, I never thought I could still be saved. Until one night, the gods sent an answer to my prayers. That night a man's string of fate tangled with mine and my destiny took a huge turn. _


	2. Fated Attraction

**Fated Attraction**

"Have you heard?" one of the ladies in the dressing room turned to the others who were busy putting on their make-up.

"What?" came the reply from the other ladies.

"I heard that the higher ups of the Shinsengumi are coming here to celebrate. A birthday I guess. A room was already reserved for their celebration."

"I wonder what they're like"

"I heard there are some nice looking men from that bunch" said a lady with a hearty laugh.

"But in the end they'd still turn out like any other men"

"Warrior to be exact." corrected the other as she stood up and wore her robes. "They'd bore you with stories of how they fought this guy and that guy when they're drunk. Talk about honor but would even forget to pull their pants up before leaving the room." a unison of laughter erupted.

"But a friend of mine from the _Red House_ told me that she's spent a night with one of their captains and it was the best she'd ever had, plus the guy was handsome too" said another lady.

"Well keep on hoping that the same one would spot you tonight, so that you can break your streak of having to entertain old geezers." Another loud laughter came from the women.

"If only we have the luck of this girl here" said the other as she pointed at Chizuru with her thumb.

Chizuru who was listening quietly just looked at her with a small smile in her face. "What are you saying? I don't think I'm lucky at all" she explained with a small laugh. _"How can I be lucky if I puke at myself almost every day?"_ she thought.

"I mean most of the guys who pick you are younger ones. The ones who want to lose their virginity or the ones who are cheating on their wives who already turned ugly after giving birth. I can think of only few instances in where disgusting ones actually chose you" the lady said.

"Well she is young and her pretty little face is something" Another lady pointed out. "Besides she's the youngest one in our bunch and so far still the newest. Soon her luck would fade away. Old geezers and deviants would come to plug all her holes up" the lady added quite cruelly, obviously jealous of the younger one, as she left the room rolling her eyes.

"Don't mind her. She's just bitching because that _daimyo_ she was dating left her for some lady from a respected family" said Akane, a friend of Chizuru's, who sat next to her. Chizuru just dismissed what she was told and told herself that if things get worse then she'd kill herself already.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"I said I wanted to spend my birthday alone in my room. No need to go here really" Hijikata sighed as he massaged the bridged of his nose. Another drink was handed to him, which he drank on an instant.

"Come on loosen up" Shinpachi nudged him as he took a swig from his drink.

"He's right. Besides writing more _haikus _on your birthday wouldn't do you any good" Okita teased as he passed a drink to Saitou who was telling Heisuke to slow down eating.

"I won't be writing _haikus_!" he defended.

"What will you be doing then?" Okita inquired.

"I don't know" came the reply.

"Anyway, we have a little gift for you" Sano beamed.

"What is it? You shouldn't have bothered yourself with that. I'm fine even…" Hijiikata started but was interrupted.

"No it's just fine really. And you can't refuse this gift alright. You know it's impolite to do so" Sano said as he placed an arm around Hijikata who seemed to be quite affected by the alcohol already.

"What's this gift anyway?"

"About that… we'd go get it prepared now. So wait here and enjoy yourself. We'd be back soon" Sano stood up, grabbed Shinpachi and exited the room with dirty smiles on their faces.

The two walked down the hall then the stairs to look for the manager of the place. They spotted her instantly as the woman turned to them with a huge smile on her face.

"Yes, what can I do for you two?" she beamed at them as she checked them out.

"Well, our friend needs company tonight. I was wondering if you can show us to the ladies so that we can pick one that would suit his taste" Sano explained.

"Oh is that so. It's gonna cost you…" the lady started but stopped when Shinpachi handed her some money. The lady almost jumped in joy upon receiving it and quickly guided the two to where the women were. "So your friend, what does he like? I believe I have every girl that could suit anyone's taste." The lady inquired, leaning closer to Sano who just smiled at her advances.

"Do you have anyone…. hhmmm just give us that girl over there" Sano pointed at the girl sitting in the corner. He can only see half her face because she is facing another girl but she looks pretty sweet and adorable. By just looking at her he can say that she is the freshest girl in the place. She is surprisingly well mannered too, not laughing and talking as loudly as the others. She just sat in the corner like a doll, beautiful but not wanting to get any attention.

'Wow, she's pretty cute" Shinpachi admired the lady from afar.

"Sakura is really a doll. You've chose well. I'll go pick her up. You will be informed when the room's ready; it would take just a while." The lady smiled and bowed at the two.

"Ma'am can you also send up a couple of girls who can pour us our drinks" Sano tossed a couple gold coins to the lady who gladly accepted the request.

"We sure can indulge with these kind of thing every once in a while" Shinpachi said as they headed back to their room. "Hey that girl you chose looks like a fine catch"

"Yeah but she's not really my type. I'd feel guilty to touch such an adorable girl like her." Sano said with a laugh.

"I guess I agree with you. But hey did you saw that lady with the nice set of hooters?" Shinpachi inquired.

"The one with the golden dragon on her robe? Yeah. I hope she's not busy and she's the one the old woman sends us." Sano replied.

Upon returning to their room they sat down beside Hijikata. Shinpachi placed an arm around him and smiled. "The gift is being prepared."

"I think I know what the gift is… but seriously…"

"Hey it's alright. You have to enjoy the joys of being a young man. Besides when was the last time that you've been with a woman?" Sano inquired teasingly.

"Tsk. Just shut it. Alright… alright… no more complains" Hijikata replied. _"The last time was in Osaka…"_ he took another drink. His face was starting to turn red because the alcohol was starting to take effect on him.

Moments later the door slid open and two women introduced themselves as the men's companion for the night. Sano was also informed that the room was already prepared and so he patted his friends back to get him to get going already.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru wondered what kind of man she has to serve that night. The manager sure had a huge smile on her face when she came to pick her up. She was told that the man was Shinsengumi's vice commander and she'll be a gift for him.

She knelt outside the door and sighed one last time before announcing her arrival and slowly slid open the door. "Master, I'm Sakura, I would be your companion for tonight. Please feel free to ask anything of me and I hope that you'd be pleased with my services." She said with her head down after closing the door behind her. Like always, in the split second before she would lift her head to see her client for the first time, her heart would start to pound in fear.

Not a word or sound came from the man who sat across her. Finally upon lifting her head a warm feeling started to spread in her chest. _"He's…beautiful…"_she thought to herself as she laid eye on the man sitting in front of her. _"So what… he's the same as the others…I wonder what kind of monster this one is" _she thought as she smiled and placed the _sake_ she brought with her in front of them.

Hijikata was left speechless with the beauty that was in front of him. He hated to admit it but her innocent face, sweet smile and gentle voice mesmerized him.

"Please, If you don't mind I'd prefer to drink tea" he said, stopping the woman from pouring him wine.

"Master, that is an unusual request but I shall bring you one right away" she placed the drinks aside and ducked her head. "Please excuse me."

He watched her as she went and get what he requested. Moments later she returned with the tea he requested.

"Here you go Master" she handed it to him with a smile. The moment he received the tea from her, their skin brushed against each other. For the first time in a long time she felt herself blush.

"Thank you" he said and then he took a sip from his cup.

_"__He sure is polite…this is an unusual start…"_ Chizuru thought as she moved closer to him. He then placed his cup aside and looked at her. She shivered as their gazes met. _"What's this feeling?...He looks even better up close." _

"I'm glad that the tea was in your liking. Is there anything else I can do for you?" she inquired. Usually at this point men would start touching her or taking her already but this one just looked at her. A certain aura emitted by him stopped her from even daring to place a hand on him. _"You've done this many times… just go on with it and get this over…" _her thoughts were interrupted when he spoke.

"I can see why they picked you." He muttered. "Well, is there something wrong? You've been looking at me like that for a while now"

Chizuru ducked her head. "I'm sorry. Please allow me to make up for my impudence." She said as she moved closer to him.

"You don't look like someone who enjoys doing this. I can see it in your eyes. If you can make a run out of here right now you would. You just want to get this over with, don't you?" he said as he finished the contents of his cup.

"I'm sorry master. That's not it. It's my pleasure to serve you." She reached for his arm and was about to move in to throw herself to him when he stopped her.

"It's alright. I never think I can enjoy doing anything with you if you look at me like that. You can just stay and keep me company." He gave her a small smile. She moved away from him but focused her attention still on the unusual man in front of her.

Chizuru didn't know what to say. _"This man… others would enjoy the hint of fear in our eyes…So what now? Does he plan to just converse with me?"_ There was silence for a while. She poured him another cup of tea and this time he asked her to join him. _"What's he up to?" _she thought as she tried to decipher the almost emotionless face of the man.

"You're from a fine family are you not?" he inquired.

She just looked at him and smiled. A roaring feeling of sadness started to flow from her heart as she was reminded of her happy times back in Edo. "You think so master?" she replied.

"You've got a different air than the other girls, which makes me wonder how you ended up here."

A sincere warm smile escaped her lips. "_I can't believe that a man who paid to spend a night with a woman would be so interested with her past. It's not supposed to be that way. We're supposed to be strangers but…" _that feeling of warmth she felt in her chest started growing, slowly melting the ice that walled her heart. Something about him made her feel at ease and before she knew it she started telling her about how she ended up in the brothel. Not only that but for a while they talked about literature when he learnt that she read one of his favorite piece.

He watched her as she smiled at him while they talked. It was different from the smile she had when she first entered the room. He was now aware that his attraction to her started to grow beyond his control.

"Your father, do you think you can still find him?" he inquired.

"I don't think so. My best bet is that he's dead" she replied with a pained smile.

"I'm sorry" he muttered. He then noticed the _samisen _on the corner of the room. "Can you play that instrument?" he asked.

She smiled. "I'm sorry but I don't know how to play any instruments"

"That's alright"

"But I can sing for you if you like…" she said feeling unsure if her voice would please him.

"Will you sing for me then?"

She nodded , took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to remember the words of the song she used to sing.

_"…__.afururu namida nugui hoshi ni negai kakeru. Kono te wo toride ni anata mamoritai to. Inochi no ito akaki enishi kono mi ga hateru to no kirenu ito wo kizuna to yobu sou tokoyo ni…." _

Upon finishing the song she looked up at him. _"Did he fall asleep?"_

He slowly opened his eyes and there gazes met. He smiled. "…that was wonderful" he muttered, inside his head her voice stuck.

"Thank you" she felt really flattered.

He stood up and straightened his clothes. "Thank you for your company. I better get going now" he said despite wanting to spend more time with her. He can have her till morning but he has no plans of doing anything to her.

"Wait." Chizuru ducked her head. "Thank you very much for listening to me but I don't think I've done my best to…"

"No it's alright. I wouldn't want to be another nightmare to you. I could at least spare you from another night of having to give yourself to someone. I want you to just remember me this way" he said as he knelt down to lift her face up.

She saw the gentleness in his eyes which made her officially fall for him that instant. "I want you to remember me too" she said as she moved her face to his and kissed him. A sincere kiss is not something that a woman like her and a customer should share but at this point that was not how they were.

"You're making me change my mind about going" he said with a smirk as their lips parted.

Chizuru can feel her cheeks burn as she blush. "Well….you… don't have to go… really" she stuttered. "I mean… if you don't want to do it with me that don't mean you can't stay….." she focused her eyes on the floor.

A small laugh escaped his lips. "I can't believe this." He said as he sat back down. "I'll spend the night here then"

"I also can't believe this either…." She said with a smile. "I mean it's not every day that I encounter a man like you…"

"Can you sing for me once more?" he requested.

"Sure…" she replied and then after thinking of what to sing next she sang her heart out to him. Just as the song was about to end she noticed that he seem to be asleep so she gently placed his head on her shoulder. He woke up as she did that and moved his head from her shoulder to her lap and closed his eyes.

"Let me stay like this for a while" he muttered. She looked down at him and started caressing his soft raven hair then she started singing once more.

At dawn when she woke up, she was already on the futon neatly tucked in. She sat up and looked around but the man she was with was nowhere to be found. For a moment she wondered if maybe he was just a dream but she can still feel his lips against her, a proof that he was real.

* * *

**Note:**_This fic is inspired by Memoirs of a Geisha and episode 11 of Samurai Champloo. I just wrote this one in a whim actually. Really hope you like it. Please do leave a review, they would be well appreciated by yours truly :))_


	3. Till Dawn

**Till dawn**

Back in the headquarters everyone can't help but notice how good the demon vice commander's mood was. It was almost two days since his meeting with her but he can't get her of his mind. Her song even hunts him in his dreams.

_"__I'll need to meet her again…"_ he thought.

"I wonder what you're writing this time with that smile on your face." Okita leaned on Hijikata's bedroom door watching the guy as he finish what he was writing.

"Just something I'd rather keep to myself. Anyway, Souji did you see Kondo on your way here" he inquired.

"Actually the reason I came here is not to pester you about your _haikus_ but to tell you that the place is set for the meeting with those two faced jerks. Well Kondo-san wants to talk to you first. He's in the main room" Okita said and then quickly left.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

From the moment he walked into the brothel he unconsciously started to look for her but he can't find her anywhere.

_"__I wonder where she is…maybe she's…with someone"_ he thought as they were lead to the room reserved for their meeting with their allies. He felt really awful to think that she might be in another man's arms at the moment.

"Toshi…" Kondo called his attention. "Is something wrong? You don't seem to be at ease"

"Ah…I'm alright. I'm sorry." He focused on the men sitting across them who seem to go there not for the meeting but for the booze and women. He was glad that none of the women serving them was her. "Excuse me. Everyone, about our plans to…" he started his speech.

Minutes later while they were in the middle of their discussion, they were interrupted by rowdy voices from demanding costumers in a room nearby. At first they ignored it, but the moment Hijikata heard that familiar voice which is now on the verge of crying, he stood up. It was obvious that the others were annoyed with the ruckus too so he had the reason to take action.

"Please excuse me" he said then left the room.

"Wait…" Kondo stood up excused himself and followed Hijikata.

Hijikata slid open the door of the room from which the noise came from and walked in. He was right; the voice did come from her. She was cornered on the wall and three men surrounded her. One of them held her by the wrist.

"You what are you…." said one of the men who was pissed off that they were interrupted as he went to draw his sword at Hijikata who struck the man down with a strike to the side of the neck before he can even draw his sword.

"You pigs" he muttered, feeling really irritated. "How can you gang up on a woman like that?!"

"It's none of your…" the other man ran to him only to be throw down to the floor after having his foot cleverly tripped.

Hijikata went to the third guy who pulled out a dagger. He knew in an instant that the man planned to hostage the girl instead of attacking him. So before that can happen he pulled him away and landed a straight punch in the man's face, knocking him down.

"Are you alright?" he asked as she helped her up.

"Thank you!" she embraced him.

He can feel that she was still trembling and so to calm her, he patted her back.

"Toshi…" Kondo stopped what he was going to say when he noticed that he was seeing a different Toshi at the moment. He then realized that there was something between the two.

"Kondo-san…I'm sorry for the mess… I'll go call someone…" Hijikata felt embarrassed to be seen by Kondo like that.

"Don't worry I've done that already" he replied with a smile.

Chizuru then noticed the man standing in the doorway and ducked her head and smiled at him to recognize his presence. The manager and her men came to pick up the guys who cause the ruckus.

The manager sighed. "These men… not because they shared the pay, they can already share the girl" she then noticed how her girl looked at ease with the man who stood beside her. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble" the manager ducked her head at the vice commander.

"Never mind that. It's nothing." He replied.

Chizuru moved away and went to her manager. "I'm sorry" she muttered as she stood beside her.

"It's alright. Anyway, you're Hijikata-san right?" the manager inquired with a big smile. The man just nodded in reply. "I would be honored to have you as our guest here anytime. And I'll make sure that Sakura would be available to serve you at any time. Right Sakura?" she turned to the girl next to her who just smiled coyly.

Hijikata didn't reply. He excused himself and walked back to the meeting room with Kondo who watched him with a smile.

"Is there something wrong?" Hijikata inquired as he looked at Kondo before entering the room.

"You like her don't you" Kondo teased.

"What?" Hijikata raised a brow.

"Never mind. Let's get back and do our best in there" Kondo said with a small laugh as he patted Hijikata's back then went into the room.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

_"…__so he was Hijikata Toshizou"_ Chizuru thought, unable to fall asleep thinking of him. It's been almost a week since the incident and she hasn't seen him since then. She was aware that he was a busy man but her wish to see him again never waver. He became the first and last thing on her mind every day. Many times already have she caught herself smiling and looking in the blank space while thinking of him. Even when she's with another man, her thoughts wander off to him. _"Kami-sama, please let me meet him again"_ she wished as she closed her eyes.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Hijikata found himself in the brothel's lobby. He was greeted by the manager with a big smile on her face. He went straight to business and asked for her. He was a man with self-control but he can't bear it anymore. He wanted her badly.

From inside the room he can hear her recite the same lines she said before to announce herself before entering the room along with the rain that just started to pour.

"I'm so glad to see you" she said with a smile as she sat in front of him. "I brought tea this time because I remember that you prefer this over _sake_" she moved closer and was about to pour him some tea when he caught her wrist.

"What happened?" he looked really concerned with the bruise on her wrist. She looked away from him and didn't say a word. Of course he has an idea of how she got it so instead of asking her about it he lifted her wrist to his lips and blew it gently and kissed it lightly.

She looked at him. "Thanks. You're too concerned for someone like me"

"Why? What are you?" he said looking her in the eyes.

"A …" the word struggled in her mouth. She fought the tears back from her eyes. It seems like after all this time she still hasn't accepted it. "I'm a…"

"You're a woman" he said as he removed the space between them. She looked at him with a sad smile.

He placed a hand on her cheek and erased her lipstick with his thumb, smudging it a bit to her cheek. "You don't belong here." He said looking at her with adoration. He then kissed her with fervor.

A kiss on the lips isn't really the first thing that a woman like her and a customer would share; most never even mind her lips. Just his kisses were enough to make her mind spin. The way he ran his tongue to part her lips and the way he lightly bit her lip slowly made her want to feel again. Upon breaking the kiss they looked at each other. It wasn't just lust in their eyes, it was something deeper.

"My name…." she whispered as she kissed his ear and sensuously ran her hands on his back. "is not Sakura…" saying ones real name in the business was a big no, for it establishes attachment.

"What is it?" he inquired as he started trailing kisses on her neck making her give out small moans. "Tell me" he slowly slid down her clothes, exposing more of her to him.

"Chizuru…" she whispered. For the first time in her life, she felt the need to give all of herself to someone. She started hoping that she's met him earlier but that doesn't matter now. Right now she was in the arms of the man who made her feel again.

"Chizuru…" he moaned his name in between kisses. "Allow me to make love to you" he said as he moved her closer to him.

She nodded. "Please…I…I want to make love to you…" she moaned as she felt him starting to plant kisses on her shoulders to her chest. She slowly opened his robes with her hand, exposing his well-toned body with signs of scars in some places. She ran her hand down his broad chest and removed his clothes completely with the other. She felt so small but safe in his arms. She was slowly laid down, her body was bare before him but she doesn't mind.

_"__So soft…"_he thought as he leaned down on her to brush his lips leisurely from in between her mounds to her abdomen. _"So fragile…" _he planted a kiss before moving back up to give attention to her breasts which drops and fall along with her breathing. Cupping her, feeling her and tasting her and as he did he ran his hand up her leg and in between her thighs, caressing her.

His touch was ecstatic, making her moan in pleasure as he touch another weak spot. She enjoyed the fact that he took his time making each part of her feel loved. This time she doesn't do the pleasing because she was being pleased. She shivered as she felt his hands travelling down her lower region which by the time was already aching for him. She allowed him to explore her with his fingers, sliding down her folds then inside her. The feeling of his hair brushing in her skin as he moved down on her teased her effectively. She can feel him tasting her, sliding his tongue down her sensitive spot making her arch her back in delight.

"Please…" she moaned unable to control her hunger for him. "I want you…" she ran her fingers in his hair as he focused on her weak spot. He moved himself up so that he can see her face clearly.

She watched as he removed every last piece of clothing on his body and feasted her eyes on the body of the man she was dying to make love to. He lifted her leg up, holding it gently but firmly, she felt him brushing himself to her, teasing her till finally the two of them became one. The intensity of the pleasure that he was giving her as he moved in her made her feel like an innocent girl once more who have just discovered what the forbidden fruit was all about for the first time. She started moving herself to him, wanting to have all of him inside her. They exchanged moans of pleasure with every movement, drawing each other closer to climax. They made love to each other the whole night. Exploring each other and communicating whatever they felt with their bodies.

Soon dawn was about to give way to the morning sun. Chizuru opened her eyes, feeling happy for the first time in a long time. The first thing her saw was the man she passionately spent the night with. She blushed like a little girl as she remembered bits and pieces of what happened and then smiled.

_"__Even just for this time… I felt like a woman and not a toy."_ She crawled to reach for her robes and put them on. She noticed that he left some marks on her body but those were the marks she was glad to have for it reminded her of their time together. _"This time… I loathe the sunrise. It means that I'd have to say goodbye to you and go back to my reality again"_ she looked down as tears started falling from her eyes.

"Is something wrong?" he inquired as he got up and went to her side.

She looked up at him with a bitter smile. "Good morning… it's nothing really. These are probably tears of joy"

He leaned and kissed her tear drenched cheek. "I'd get you out of here" he said with conviction.

"Eh?" she looked at him, surprised with what he said.

He stood up and gathered his clothes. She went to him and helped him dress. "I better get going while it's still dark." She rested her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "I've got my duties and I'm the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi. Even though the easier way of getting you out of here is by buying you I couldn't do such thing. Every penny I earn is for the group and it would cause an uproar in the group if the ever so uptight vice commander do something like that. I hope you understand."

She nodded. "I do. Don't worry about me. Just before I met you I was thinking of taking my own life… but you saved me"

"Wait for me. I'll come back for you and don't you think of taking your own life. I don't know exactly when I could come by with the way things are right now but I'll come and get you. I promise" he said and then he let her loose. He fixed his katana and kodachi on his waist band.

"Hijikata-san" she said his name and it sounded right on her lips.

He smiled gently at her. "I was wondering since last night how you knew my name"

She chuckled. "I heard it last time you were here.… Hijikata I'll be waiting" with that he kissed her one last time before leaving.


	4. Vengeance

**Vengeance**

_"__He would come back for me… I know that but do I deserve him. He made me forgot how filthy I am… it's like his kisses and touches cleansed me" _She thought as she washed herself thoroughly. After a week break given to her by the manager, she was forced to return to the way things were again. Last night the man fell asleep before anything can happen which she was thankful for but she wanted to remove the traces of the man's touch and kisses on her body. _"I really want him to be the only one to own me but that won't be happening anytime soon. I heard that the Shinsengumi got a lot on their hands lately…I wish to see him again."_

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

It's been almost two weeks since he last saw her. He wanted to be with her once more but not with how things are at the moment but he just thought of a way to contact her. It was embarrassing but it was the most effective idea.

_"__Only this once…"_ he said as he folded a letter. "Yamazaki"

"Yes. I'm here" replied the ninja who was waiting outside his door.

"Come in" he ordered and the ninja did so. He turned to him and handed him the letter. He fought his embarrassment and started to explain thing to Yamazaki. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't bother you with personal requests like this but can you hand it to a girl who is called Sakura…." Hijikata stopped, feeling bad of having to use Yamazaki as a messenger that way.

"Hijikata-san. You don't have to worry or be shy about it. I understand. I know who to give this to. I remembered her from the time when you went to celebrate your birthday" Yamazaki said with a small smile.

Hijikata sighed. "Thank you" Yamazaki bowed and left the room to do his task.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru was in the back yard hanging her clothes when she heard someone calling her.

"Sakura." came the soft voice.

She looked around and when she turned around there was a ninja in front of her. She almost screamed in surprise but the man covered her mouth.

"I'm sorry for scaring you but I've got an important letter from Hijikata-san." He said and then removed his hand from her mouth and handed her the letter.

Chizuru took it and hid it in her clothes. She ducked her head and smiled at the ninja. "Thank you"

"I'll be back for your reply before dark. I'll be waiting here" Yamazaki said and then he ran and climbed the wall as swift as a cat and disappeared.

_"__A letter… from him…" _she thought with glee.

She was very careful that no one sees her reading the letter and writing a reply because that sure would put her in danger with the manager. That afternoon, the ninja returned for the reply and disappeared with it once more.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Hijikata can't help but smile upon receiving a reply from Chizuru. "Thank you Yamazaki"

"I hope that Hijikata-san would sigh less now" Yamazaki said with a small smile before leaving.

Hijikata excitedly read her letter. _"This is good" _he thought with a smile. _"She got herself assigned to do the marketing. That means I can see her in town. Tomorrow morning she'd be waiting for me in the old shrine… I'll go meet you…wait for me" _he folded the letter and inserted it in between his notebook.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~~

Chizuru held the basket in her hand tighter as she stood behind the huge tree in the shrine. She knew that if she gets caught meeting someone, she'd be in big trouble but it was a risk she was willing to take.

"Did I keep you waiting?" Hijikata whispered as he slid his arms around her waist. She turned to look up at him.

"No. I'm so happy you could come" she beamed at him.

"But why did they allow you to go out. With this you can escape anytime" he said as he stared at her face which was devoid from any make-up. _"She's really beautiful" _

Chizuru shook her head. "They got people on the city border. It would be impossible for me to leave, besides my time outside is monitored. I'd have to get going soon or else they'd start to hunt me down already. I earned the manager's trust. I used to do this when I first came to the brothel and we are shorthanded right now. Also if I go and do other work, I'd be able to pay them back faster."

"Chizuru" he said her name which tasted sweet on his lips. He leaned down and planted a kiss on her lips. "You better get going then. This short time wouldn't suffice me but I don't want to be a greedy man so I'm thankful for this" he let her loose.

"In three days. I'd be going out again. Same time. Same place." She said as she tiptoed to kiss his lips one more time before going.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Hijikata woke up early despite not having enough sleep. He is true to his duty and would work from dawn to dusk if needed. Lately they were experiencing some minor setbacks, which means more work for him, but all in all they were doing pretty well.

"You've got nothing to do this morning, you can get some extra sleep" Kondo said as he saw Hijikata on his way out their headquarters.

"Oh…Kondo-san. Good morning" he smiled at him. "I was just going to check something out. I'll be back in a while."

Kondo laughed. "Toshi, I'm not keeping tabs on you so there's no need to explain. Take your time."

"Kondo-san…." He muttered. "I'll be going then" he said as he turned to leave.

Upon arriving at the shrine he went to the tree where they met before and waited for her to come. A couple of minutes later he can see her coming closer. He stood up and went to meet her.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting" she said with a smile as she put down the basket that she had with her.

"I just arrived here myself" he replied. "So how are you doing?"

"Just fine" she replied.

He moved closer to her, to embrace her but surprisingly she moved back. "Is something wrong?" he inquired as he placing a hand on her shoulder. She bit her lip and cringed. Without saying another word he pulled Chizuru's collar down her shoulder, exposing burn marks from cigar and a couple of bruises down her arm.

Chizuru pulled the collar of her clothes back up instantly and tears started welling in her eyes. "Hijikata…don't worry about it…it would just go away" she said as she noticed the furious look on his face.

"Don't worry about it?! How can I not worry about those?!" he exclaimed in anger. "Is there more?" She shook her head as she looked into his cold piercing eyes that seem prepared to kill somebody at any time.

"Wait!" she exclaimed as he carried her in his arms in one scoop and brought her to a secluded place at the back of the shrine.

"Are there any more?" he inquired after putting her down. "I'll strip you myself if you don't answer me" she nodded as tears started rolling down her eyes.

She turned her back and allowed her robe to drop to her waist, exposing to him reddish stripe marks that came from the leather strap that she was hit with. There were a couple more burn marks just below her shoulder. She fixed her kimono and turned to him.

"What happened? Who did this?" he inquired. She didn't want to tell him because the guy responsible for her burns and bruises was a man from an influential family but she can't keep quiet about it to him either.

"He was one of those who don't really enjoy doing it but takes pleasure in seeing someone in pain... I wasn't the first girl who was unlucky to come across him… the first one, he bought her and a week later she died but she was just reported missing….Hijikata…." she moved closer to him and leaned on him, resting her forehead on his chest. She closed her eyes to erase the memories of the night before from her head "I'm afraid that he might buy me… he …he reserved me for a week…he might come by again tonight…"

He gently wrapped his arms around her. A frustrated growl escaped his lips. "Tch. I won't let him lay his hands on you again"

"Hijikata please don't do anything rash"

"Of course I won't. What's the guy's name?"

"His name…his name was Shibuya Kagerou"

A small smile escaped Hijikata's lips upon hearing the name, because it rang a bell. _"I should go and check the recent reports. I'm sure I read that name in one of them"_ he let her loose. "You better get going now. Be careful. I'm going to get you soon." He leaned down and kissed her then they parted ways.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

That very night Hijikata got his hands on the man named Shibuya Kagerou who came from a well off family. He was right, the guy's name was on the reports and it turns out that he is one of the extremists who were against them. What more the guy was one of those tasked to spy on them.

"We have quite a catch" Shinpachi said as he passed by Hijikata.

"Hijikata-san, if they won't bust, I'm willing to help you make them talk." Okita said with a grin.

"Thanks but I'll handle the interrogation and disposal" replied the vice commander who wasn't in the mood the whole day.

Upon entering the separate house used solely for interrogation and disposal purposes he approached the three where hanged like pigs to the ceiling beam, half naked, their feet just a couple of inches from the ground.

"Answer properly and you might be spared. By the way who among you is Shibuya Kagerou?" he started the interrogation with that stern face of his that most soldiers fear to see. There was no answer. He picked up a wooden sword and was about to hit the first guy when the man next to him spoke.

"Do you need anything?" he said quite arrogantly despite his current state.

Hijikata gave him a spine chilling glare. _"I'd get you last" _he thought. He then focused on his job and started interrogating them. He noticed that Shibuya would steal a glance at the men beside him when they are getting beaten up with the wooden sword which broke just after 3 questions. "_What a sick guy" _

When he got all the information he wanted, he draw his sword and slit the men's throat cleanly, leaving Shibuya alive.

"Happy you didn't get your throat slit?" Hijikata inquired as he noticed a smile of victory in Shibuya's lips.

"You want money don't you…. You spared me because I can give you money…" he laughed maniacally.

Hijikata didn't replied but instead he went to the furnace in the corner of the room. He drew the dagger he had with him and placed half of its blade on the fire.

"Even when clad in gold men like you will always be just garbage." Hijikata said then he picked up the dagger. "Do you know how it feels like to be burned?" he asked as he walked towards him.

"Wha…what are you doing?! Are you crazy?!" he started panicking but his blabbering stopped when Hijikata placed the hot part of the dagger against his skin. There was a sizzling sound upon the hot metal contacted with the sweaty skin. The man screamed in agony.

"Fuck you!" exclaimed the man, wriggling in pain, as the dagger was removed.

"That was how she felt when you burnt her with your cigar." Hijikata then placed the hot blade against both his cheek. Another scream erupted. "I thought you liked pain but I see that you can't handle them well yourself." Hijikata picked up another wooden sword and wacked the guy several times. Hijikata noticed that the guy seemed to lose consciousness but he can't allow that. He picked up a bucket of cold water and emptied it on the guy.

"I remember now….so that was your girl I messed up last night… poor thing cried quietly in pain…don't worry she was muttering your name as she lost consciousness" he said weakly but with a smirk.

Hijikata furiously hit him in the gut. He wanted to kill him but not till he's got a taste of his own medicine. He stuffed the guy's mouth with cloth this time to avoid him from biting his tongue then he started to whip the guy. Blood oozed from the broken skin, painting the floor below him. Tears mixed with his snot and sweat.

"Go…to …hell…" the guy muttered half alive after spitting out the cloth in his mouth.

"I'll send you there first" Hijikata drew his sword cut open the man's stomach in one swing. Viscera along with blood and bodily fluids spilled on the floor. Hijikata turned and left the place like nothing happened. "Please dispose of the bodies" he said as he passed by the men who stood guard outside.

* * *

**Note:** _So girls in brothels before aren't allowed to go outside (cause they might escape or costumers might recognize them, maybe) but since this is fictional and for the sake of the story I gave Chi-chan a chance to go out. And yeah about reservations it more like when they have a patron, they are sort of rented or sometimes bought. Anyway if your reading this now THANK YOU for reading this far :)) Please leave a review, it would be well appreciated._


	5. On the Run

**On the Run**

Chizuru was thankful that the man named Shibuya didn't came for her that night but tonight was another story. She sat in the corner looking blankly in a void, hoping that no one comes and pick her.

"Sakura" the manager called for her with a smile. "Someone asked for you. 2nd floor 3rd room to the right." Chizuru nodded with a forced smile in reply.

"Don't worry. This might not be as bad as the last one" Akane said to her with a smile as she held Chizuru's hand when she stood up.

"I hope so" Chizuru replied before going.

_"__I don't think I can spend one more night with another man…"_ she thought as she held back her tears. She knelt in front of the door and announced herself before coming in. "Master, I'm Sakura, I would be your companion for…." She started but stopped after recognizing the man in front of her.

"Sakura, we've got something important to discuss" said Yamazaki as he came closer to her.

"You're the ninja…" Chizuru said looking closely at the man in front of her.

Yamzaki nodded with a smile. "Now listen. Hijikata sent me here to discuss with you the plans for your escape." He said in a soft voice.

"He did…" she moved closer to him.

"Yes. He's really worried about you. He would've bust you out of here earlier but there's a lot going on right now and we thought of where to hide you after your escape since it's sure that you'd be hunted down. Anyway, tomorrow as soon as it gets dark go to the store room on the end of the hallway. I've cut the window grill already, so you just have to remove the frame and jumped down. We'd be waiting for you."

Tears started flowing uncontrollably from her eyes and then she embraced Yamazaki. "Thank you…I've always been afraid to do it myself … Thank you…"

Yamazaki moved away, his face all red in embarrassment. "It's nothing…ah also I hid men's clothing in one of the boxes next to the window in the store room. Wear it before escaping."

"Well… is there anything I can do for you in return?" Chizuru said with a small smile.

"Eh…well… Hijikata-san have told me that you sing so beautifully that you can make cherry blossoms bloom out of season" Yamazaki laughed. "So…can I at least confirm that?"

Chizuru giggled. "I never thought that I sounded that good… but sure. I'll try my best to live up to what he said".

After 2 songs Chizuru stopped and it was pretty obvious that the man in front of her was mesmerized. "So how was it?"

"It was… well… it was amazing." He said with a red face. "Also…I believe I understand why the vice commander fell for you… You'd be able to balance him out. That's what I think anyway" Yamazaki stood up. "Well, I'd be going now. I still have something to do. Good luck tomorrow" he said then he exited the room through the window and disappeared.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"You've overslept. That's new" Akane said as Chizuru got up from her futon. "Our shift is about to start. Go and get ready now."

"Sure" Chizuru smiled at Akane. _"Sorry…but I'd be leaving you behind…Thank you"_ she thought as she stood up and hugged her friend.

"What's up?" Akane asked as he turned to Chizuru.

"Nothing. I just felt like hugging someone" she replied then her friend hugged her.

"There you go. A hug feels nice eh? Anyway you better get dolled up now." Akane said as she let her friend go and let the room.

Chizuru folded her futon and looked around the room she shared with ten other women one last time. She walked out the room and down the hall as casually as she can despite the fact that her heart is racing in anxiousness.

"Sakura" the manager saw her. "Still not dolled up? Well, go and fix yourself and earn me some bucks" the manager said with a small laugh as she passed her.

"I'm sorry. I'm going now" she replied and she picked up pace. Upon reaching the 2nd floor, more of her co-workers were around which made it extra hard or her to sneak into the storage room. After a couple of minutes of waiting and making casual talk with people who she passes by, she reached the storage room and quickly snuck in.

As soon as she got inside, she stripped her clothes and searched for the clothes that was left for her. She found them in a box near the window, just like she was told. As she was starting to dress, she heard loud voices coming closer to the storeroom. It seems like two men just stopped in front of the storage room. Chizuru gathered her clothes and jumped in the huge barrel at the back of the stack of boxes and _sake_ containers. The door opened and the men went in. The two seem to take their precious time, chatting as they took containers of _sake_ out from the room.

_"__Come on…go away…"_Chizuru thought impatiently as she closed her eyes. Hoping that she won't get caught or she doesn't make any sound. After a while the room returned to its quiet state and the door was shut close. She finished dressing up and stacked another box on top of the other.

"Have you seen Sakura?" Chizuru heard the voice of the manager.

"No, madame" replied two other ladies in unison.

"Where is that girl? A costumer is requesting for her." The manager said sounding irritated as she walked away.

Chizuru then hurriedly climbed up and removed the frame of the window grill. She struggled on how she'd jump out, head or feet first. She stuck her head out and pushed half her body out the window. She felt her heart jump as she realize how high she was from the ground but all her fears disappeared the moment she spotted Hijikata waiting for her below.

"Move it. Just jump. I'll catch you" he said in a soft voice as he looked up then around the alley.

Chizuru finally made it out of the window and balanced herself on the small ledge below before jumping down. Hijikata caught her without fail.

"Let's get out of here" he said as he placed her down and held her hand tightly. They quickly went to the other end of the alley which was blocked by a tall fence but after lifting away one of the planks they were able to slip through to the other side with ease. With long strides they strode down a series of long narrow alleys which lead to another area. Upon reaching the main street, the two changed their pace into a more casual one.

Hijikata let go of her hand. She walked right next to him not knowing what to say.

"They'd be looking for you. Probably they are now" Hijikata muttered as they crossed the bridge. He then stopped in front of a shabbily dressed traveler selling charms. "Yamazaki, make sure to tell me how they progress with the search" the man then just nodded in affirmation.

Not a word was exchanged until they reached the old shrine were they usually meet. They went to the secluded place behind the shrine.

"So it was that easy to bust you out." Hijikata said with a small smile.

Chizuru embraced him. "Thank you"

"They'd be after you but I have a plan" he moved away from her. He turned her around, drew his sword and held her hair in his hand. "I'm sorry I have to improvise" he said as he chopped her hair off.

She turned around with a surprised look on her face, touching her hair which was cut short just above her shoulder. She knew she was going to miss that waist length hair of hers but if it was part of the plan to hide her then she wouldn't mind.

"There, you look a little more like a boy now." He said with a smile as he handed her the hair he chopped off. "Now I want you to listen carefully. I'll explain to you my plan. This might be a bit challenging but if you can pull this off then you'd be saved." He started explaining the plan to her. At first she was unsure if it would work but she's got faith in him so she agreed to do everything he said.

"You'd be on your own for a while but we'll be able to meet again soon" he handed her a short sword. "Here. What is a man without his sword? Protect yourself with this" he pulled her to him and held her. "Be careful."

She tip toed and planted a kiss on his lips. "Thank you" she then pulled away from him and went on her way. "I love you" she whispered as she looked back one last time at the man who saved her.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru sat up and rubbed her eyes as she yawned. She had a peaceful sleep with no nightmares at all. It's been a week since she escaped from the brothel and she couldn't believe that she would be taken in by the monks from the temple. Currently she was a helper and there were tons of cleaning to do but she was still thankful to the gods for it was a hundred folds better than selling herself.

She got up and changed into her attire as a man. After escaping the brothel she went straight to the temple and pretended to be someone who is in need of dire help. She told the monks some made up story, which made her feel really guilty, about how she just lost all her family in Edo, got robbed of the last bits of her money upon arriving in Kyoto and almost sliced to death by some drunk rogue warriors whom she bumped into. The monks pitied her and allowed her to stay with them.

Three days passed before the head monk found out that she was actually a girl but they didn't mind it and told her that there must be some good reason as to why she was pretending to be a boy. She just told them that she thought travelling as a boy would keep her safe than when she travels as a girl. The monks though didn't ask for any further explanation and didn't mind if she continued to pretend a boy.

_"__When will I see you again?"_ she thought of Hijikata as she looked down the big puddle of water that reflected her image. _"I've gotten used to seeing myself wearing all those make up and I missed seeing this old face"_ she smiled weakly. _"I do have a face of a kid and no one would know my story just by looking at me." _She walked away from the puddle and grabbed the long broom. _"I would never be able to forget but I should try to move on. I've been given a chance to live a new life now."_ She started sweeping and the wind suddenly blew past her. _"The winds… I don't know where they'll take me but I'm not afraid"_ she thought as she continued with her chores.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

After saying some prayers, Hijikata proceeded to his original motive for visiting the temple. He wanted to check out the temple to see if it was indeed a perfect place to turn into their next headquarters but above that he wanted to see her. He quietly moved around the place in hopes to see her.

_"__Chizuru…"_ he thought as he finally saw the object of his visit. She just finished hanging clothes and blankets and she sat down a nearby stone bench to take a break. Slowly he approached her.

She wiped the dripping sweat from her forehead and took a deep breath. She then watched the clothes she hanged as they carelessly waved as the wind passed. In her mind she listed the other things she had to do but her thoughts suddenly went blank and her heart pounded like the drums as a figure emerged from in between the fluttering linens. For a while she can't believe her eyes.

"How's the temple?" he spoke as he stopped in front of her.

With a huge smile on her face she replied. "Great"

He then leaned down and held her. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. Sorry I wasn't able to drop by earlier."

She flushed as he held her and hid her face on his shoulder. "It's alright"

He let her loose and stared at her eyes which welled of tears then he brushed his lips against her and kissed her. As soon as the kiss got a bit torrid, Chizuru pulled away, her cheeks the color of the blossoms.

"The monks…."she chuckled. "They might catch us…"

He sighed and sat next to her. "Tch. It's not like I care if they do." He glanced at her and placed an arm around her. "I really wanted to see you" he said as he pulled her closer.

"I wanted to see you so badly too" she muttered.

"The search for you has already died down but the manager was pretty upset to lose you. The thing though is if they catch you, you'd be in trouble and when that happens I might not be around to help you, so try not to go out that much ok?"

"Our headquarters might be moved here in a month" he said letting her loose. "When that happens I'll get to see you everyday"

"But that means you have to make the monks agree to lend you the place right?"

He nodded. "The monks would hate us but we have no choice. We have to move headquarters" He stood up and looked around. "I'll try to drop by when I can" he glanced at her then started walking away.

"Take care….I'll be waiting" she muttered as he disappeared from her sight.

* * *

**Note:** _Gonna be updated in a week probably. Hope your enjoying it so far. :)) Please feel free to let me know what you think about the fic XOXO_


	6. Precarious Convergence

**Precarious Convergence**

"Those men! What do they take us for?" said one of the monks looking really irritated.

"There are really those who have forgotten to respect us" replied another then a pool of buzzing voices from different conversations filled the room.

"Silence!" called one of the elder monks and everyone hushed on an instant.

Chizuru who was walking by outside the main hall of the temple stopped behind a column to listen.

The elder monk who stopped the commotion cleared his throat and started to speak. "I understand how you feel about the Shinsengumi turning our place into their new headquarters but please calm down. There are reasons as to why we decided to let them stay here and it's not only because they had a really threatening aura when they talked us about the deal…."

Chizuru decided to stop listening and walked away. In her mind the image of Hijikata walking into the temple earlier that morning followed by a couple more men played. When she first met him he has an intimidating air around him. His expressionless face lets one wonder what he is thinking at the moment and his eyes could send chills down ones spine. Yet despite that first impression of him he has showed her another side of him. That morning though when he walked into the temple for business he was more imposing. Chizuru overheard some younger monks call him the demon vice commander as they talked about him and the Shinsengumi which made her wonder if how horrible Hijikata can get. She still didn't know much about him despite everything that has happened but she couldn't care much about that because he too still has a lot to know about her.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru opened her eyes immediately as she heard the muffled sliding of her door. The moment she sat up to see who it was that entered the room, an arm has already gone around her shoulder and a hand covered her mouth to keep her from shouting. She almost squirmed out from his grasp but she can recognize the arms that held her anywhere so she calmed down.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as he brushed his lips down the side of her neck. "I didn't mean to scare you" he said after planting a soft kiss in her ear making her shiver in brief pleasure. He removed his hand from her mouth and pulled her closer to him.

"How did you know which room I'm staying in?" she asked as she placed a hand on his forearm, planting a kiss on it before glancing back at him. He has a firm but soft expression in his face and despite the darkness of the room she can recognize the pair of eyes that made her hold her breath upon meeting his gaze.

He chuckled as he slowly slid her sleeping robe down her slender arms. "I can locate my target even in a moonless night with minimal reconnaissance. How much harder would it be to locate you?"

A small smile formed on her lips as she helped him remove her robe from her body. "Is it alright for you to be here?"

"I don't know" he glided his lips down the curve of her neck to her shoulder. "You tell me"

She can feel him starting to undo the cloth she wears around her chest to hide her breasts, since she was supposed to be a boy, but she placed a hand over his to stop him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Well… the monks… they might find us or…." She muttered, her heart fluttering.

He interrupted her with a light kiss on the cheek. "We'll keep quiet. Besides all of them are sleeping on a different area" he continued with what he's doing but grunted as he found it very tasking to remove the cloth around her chest. "Tsk. What a hindrance" he muttered as he pulled away the round of cloth from her.

"That is necessary though. I don't have much to hide but still…" she said in a soft voice, looking down her exposed mounds.

He slipped his hands around her waist and cupped her breasts, filling both his hands with her. "They are more than enough for me though"

She placed a hand over each of his hands and removed them then she turned to him and planted a kiss on his lips. He returned the kiss aggressively. From her lips he started trailing kisses down her chin to her neck. As he did so, she started to slip her hand into his clothes, sliding them off him.

She can find no words to express how happy she was that he came to lavish her with his love that night. He kept her moans muffled with both his hand and lips. Trying to keep things as quiet as possible made their love making feel so wrong but everything just feels so right when she was in his arms.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru groggily sat up and covered herself with her robe as she felt Hijikata got up and started dressing. She fell back on her futon, still a bit weary from what transpired, and watched him as he fixed himself. She smiled upon noticing that it was the first time that she saw him with his hair down and if not for his manly physique he could be mistaken as a woman with the silky raven hair that he had.

"Chizuru…" he muttered as he sat down next to her. "Once the headquarters moves here I'm afraid things might get more complicated between you and me" he looked down at her and continued. "We would be seeing each other but not like this."

She sat up and placed a hand on his arm. "It's alright. As long as I can see you every day… that's what's important with me"

_"__But what about me? Would I be contented with just seeing you? Would I be able to hold back when you're always around?" _He thought then sighed. "I'd drop by anytime next week to give you another set of men's clothing. Please try and practice moving a bit more manly. I haven't thought of how to get you to work under my supervision but I'd tell you as soon as I have something in mind"

"I'll work under your supervision?"

"Of course I'd want to keep an eye on you. Living in a headquarters filled with men might be really taxing for you but don't worry I'll figure something out"

"Alright" she said with a smile then she started to look around.

"What's wrong?" he inquired as he watched her put on her robe and crawl out of bed to reach for a small comb.

"Can I comb your hair?" she asked as she returned to his side.

He didn't reply right away but he turned his back to her. "Sure" he replied feeling a bit embarrassed to have someone fix his hair for him.

She knelt and started combing his hair. She blushed as she remembered how she dug her fingers onto his hair which eventually removed his hair from the piece of cloth which held it together into a neat ponytail. After a while she stopped combing his hair and looked around for the piece of cloth which got removed in the midst of their activity. She found it just behind her pillow and began to tie his hair back up.

"There you go" she said as she finished fixing his hair.

He glided his hand down his hair and stood up. "Thank you" he muttered then he turned to her. "I'd be going now" he leaned down to plant a kiss on her forehead. "Take care" then with those last words he left her room and disappeared into the shade of the night.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"Yukimura, I'd go get the herbs needed for the medicine. I hope the old man have everything we need right now" the young monk in training said worriedly as he started to go off to another direction.

"Alright. I'd go get the doctor then" Chizuru went her own way in a hurry.

Sometime just after dinner, one of the five elder monks collapsed just outside his room and his left arm was paralyzed. Chizuru being one of the first to find the old man was sent along with a young monk to go fetch the doctor and some herbs for the old man's medicine.

_"__It should be just around the market" _Chizuru turned her head here and there to remember where the market was. As she looked around she suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, she remembered something important. _"I shouldn't be out on the streets….What if someone recognizes me?"_ she then shook her head and started to move forward. _"This is no time to think about myself. An old man is dying and is in need of assistance"_

She kept a fast pace as she tried to count the number of streets from the bridge to the doctor's house. _"15 streets from the bridge…I'm in the 8__th__ now…Am I even going in the right direction?"_

"You little!" a man who reeked of alcohol grunted as Chizuru ran past him, grazing his arm.

Chizuru looked back and ducked her head a bit. "I'm sorry" she said then turned to move on.

"Hey brat! Apologize properly!" he exclaimed. The few people who were still out on the streets stopped to see what the problem was.

Chizuru didn't look back, afraid to confront the man, but the man went after her and placed an arm on her shoulder then spun her around.

"Do you know who you bumped?!" The man looked down on her. "You wanna die?!" he threatened.

"I didn't bump into you." Chizuru replied and removed the man's hand from her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry" she said and just as she was about to turn away she thought that the man's face was familiar. _"Oh no! He's one of the hounds from the brothel!"_ as she remembered why he was familiar, she quickened her pace.

"You bastard!" the man exclaimed then he paused to watch her go. "Wait a second" the man muttered. "Hey you! Bastard! Come back here!" he screamed as he went after Chizuru.

Chizuru glanced back with a fear filled look in her eyes then tried to continue on like nothing matters. _"I hope he doesn't recognize me….please…"_

"You stop when I tell you to stop you son of a bitch!" he said, finally catching up to her. He grabbed her shoulder then spun her around, this time with more force that it almost sent her off balance to the floor.

"Let go of me!" she demanded as she pulled away from the guy who was looking closely at her face.

"No way!" a grin appeared on the man's face. "I'm sure it's you. I would never forget the face of the woman I've lusted upon for so long."

Chizuru took a couple of steps back. Her legs felt like stones in fear. "What are you talking about?"

The man laughed then grabbed her wrist, pulling her closer to him. "Sakura" he muttered as he sniffed her.

Her eyes widened in shock. Quickly she looked around to see if anyone was around but there was not a single soul in sight anymore. "Let go of me! I'm not Sakura. Can't you see! I'm a boy!" she tried to pull away.

Another laugh erupted. "A boy with a face as adorable as yours! Then maybe I wouldn't mind trying my own kind then"

Chizuru tried to pull away with all the force she has left in her body, this time she was successful. She held her breath as she started running down smaller alleys. She wanted to shout for help but her voice got stuck on her throat. Besides calling for help mean attracting more attention. Authorities would be involved and when she gets questioned her secret might get blown.

She was aware that the man was after her. She temporarily forgets about finding the doctor and ran for her life. She was about to take another step when she tripped on a stone. She failed to keep her balance and fell on the ground.

"Got you now" he pulled her up roughly.

She shivered as she met his impious gaze. "No" she muttered. "Help…" she whispered then he pushed her to the stone wall to her right.

"Since you gave me a hard time, if I find no balls down there, I'd tell the manager I've found her Sakura. I'm sure she'd make the boys feast on you as a punishment" he said. "Now let's see what you have down there" he grinned as his other hand reached for her _hakama. _

"Stop! Help!" she exclaimed as she shut her eyes close.

Like an answered prayer, the man's hold of her loosened and as she opened her eyes, the man's eyes were bulging and blood flowed out his mouth. With a pained groan the man dropped dead on the floor.

Her vision dimmed for a while as she smelled death and stared down the twitching body whose blood soaked the earth. She trembled and opened her mouth to scream once more but a hand covered her mouth and pushed her to the wall, pinning her to stop her from moving.

Her gaze met a set of crimson eyes that shone like gems under the pale moonlight that illuminated the alley they were in. Her body froze and she just stared back at him. After a while the hand was lifted from her mouth and the man took a couple of steps back. She took a sweeping look at the man who stood in front of her and realized how attractive the guy was, with his daunting but noble air and his pale golden hair which perfectly matched his eyes. It was no time to swoon and drool over someone though, there was a dead man in front of her and she still had to get the doctor.

"Ah…" she opened her mouth to speak but the guy sheathed his sword and started to walk away. She ducked her head. "Thank You!"

He stopped and looked back at her. "You" he paused to take a good look at her. "You shouldn't be wandering these parts of town at this time"

"I'm sorry for any inconvenience I've caused" she ducked her head again. "I really have to get to the doctor"

"The doctor's house is 10 streets down after you leave this alley. It's next to the _sake _merchant's place." He replied and disappeared as he turned the corner.

Chizuru wasted no time and ran to the doctor's place. It seems like a really eventful night for her because just a block away from the doctor's place, she witnessed another bloody scene.

"Hijikata…" she muttered as she hid behind the stacked barrels outside some store.

He was alone and two men lay dead before him, their swords still in their hands. With his back turned from her, he swung his sword to remove the blood from it before sheathing it once more. His light blue _haori _swayed calmly as a gust of wind passed by then he turned to her direction. His cold expression made the hair on her nape stand.

"You there!" he called out. "You're going to suffer the same fate as this two whether you come out from there or not!"

_"__This man… is he really…"_ she thought in surprise as it was the first time she's meet the demon side of the vice commander. She covered her mouth to keep her from gasping as she heard his footfalls approaching. For a while she wasn't sure whether to jump out or just stay where she is, either way she knew that she'd get scolded if he finds out she was out on the streets at the time of night.

"Hijikata" she said as she peeked out from behind the barrels.

He removed his hand from his _katana_ and didn't expect that it was her hiding. "Chizuru" he muttered as he quickly went to her. "What were you doing out here at this time of night? Haven't I told you not to go out unless you really need to do so!?" he scolded.

He was obviously angry and she has to say something fast. "I'm sorry but…." She started to explain but was interrupted.

"You know what would happen if someone recognizes you. You would be back to that wretched place or worse" he said then let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Aside from that the streets of Kyoto aren't the safest at the moment; I told you that already haven't I?"

"I'm really sorry for worrying you." She ducked her head. "There's an emergency in the temple and I have to go get the doctor….That's why I came out…The old monk looks like he was dying and being one of the first to find him in the situation he was in, I couldn't just stand around and do nothing" she explained, still with her eyes casted down on the ground.

Another sigh escaped Hijikata's lips. "I understand" he said as he placed a hand on her cheek. She looked up at him and noticed that his expression seemed softer now.

"The doctor's place is just around the corner. I'd walk you there." He said as he walked ahead of her.

She nodded and followed him. As they passed by the dead bodies she couldn't help but look at them and cringe. _"Killing men are probably a normal thing to him"_ she thought as she stared at the waving ends of the white cloth that he wore on his head. _"The way he looked after finishing those men off…"_

"So what do you think?" he glanced back at her. He was aware that she was shocked to see him take lives. "This is what I do."

She didn't reply right away and picked up her pace so that she was just a couple of steps behind him. "You're duty requires it"

He suddenly stopped in front of a short pathway lined with shrubs, leading to a small house with a faint light coming out the windows. He turned to her. "Here's the doctor's house. Go get him and be on your way"

She nodded and was about to make her way to the house when the front door slid open. A man appeared on the doorway with a bucket in hand. He didn't expect to see people in front of his house but he smiled at them. "Is there anything I can…" He paused upon setting his eyes on Hijikata. "What does the Shinsengumi need from me?"

"Nagi-san, I need your help. A monk in the temple fainted all of a sudden after dinner. He was conscious when I left but he needs to get checked immediately. I was asked to look for you since you're his doctor." Chizuru explained taking a couple of steps forward.

"Ah!" the doctor replied as he emptied the contents of the bucket on the shrubs. "Hojo! That old man really has to take my prescriptions more seriously" he scratched his head. "Wait for me for a while. I'll just get my things" quickly he went back to his house.

"I'd be going now." Hijikata turned to Chizuru.

She nodded with a small smile. "Thanks. I…." she stopped when a group of men emerged from the corner.

"Hijikata-san." A man also wearing the same light blue _haori_ as Hijikata called to him. He had a white cloth around his neck and he wore his sword on his right side, behind him stood five other men who wore the same _haori_.

Hijikata turned then walked towards the man . "Saitou. Let's continue with our patrolling."

"Did something happened?" he asked upon seeing that the vice commander was with someone in front of a doctor's house.

"Nothing to worry about. Just helped the boy with some trouble" he replied. "You!" Hijikata looked back to Chizuru with a cold expression. "Be on your way and stick with the doctor." He commanded.

Without saying a word she just ducked her head and went to meet the doctor on his doorstep. _"So we'd have to be strangers around everyone else." _ She thought as she watched the group disappear one by one as they turned into another street. _"but that's alright…I'm sure that soon we won't have to act like strangers around others anymore"_

"That boy sure was lucky. To think that the vice commander saved his ass" said one of the men walking behind Hijikata and Saitou.

"It was nothing." Hijikata said with a stern voice. "We proceed to the area just across the bridge. Get in position as planned as soon as we get there. The 10th division should be there waiting by now"

"Yes" the men answered in unison as they marched forward.

* * *

**Note:** _Hi! Hi! Hi! __I feel a bit weird writing Chizuru not as the innocent girl she was in the series hahaha! As I was writing Hijikata here I'm trying to imagine a man in love and longing for his lover (I believe that he's capable of being soft and romantic *based on season 2 scenes with Chizuru*) but I'm trying to keep his scowling, furrowed brows side and I hope I'm not failing to do so. Anyway please leave a review, I'd really love to her from you guys :3_


	7. Closing in

**Closing in**

It was a busy day in the temple as everyone was cleaning up the place in preparation for the number of people that would flood in that evening. A festival is being held just a couple of streets away from the temple and being the nearest temple to the event, it was sure that many people would drop by to pray and make a wish to gods.

"Yukimura" called one of the elderly monks, stopping Chizuru from wiping the floor clean. "We'd be really beat after this. I was wondering if you can go buy some _dango _for snacks. It would really go well with the tea given to us by that merchant yesterday"

"Sure. No problem." She replied with a nod. "I'd just go change." She said as she noticed that her clothes were covered with dust.

"Alright" the elder monk replied and went on his way.

She changed into her blue kimono and black _hakama_, which was brought to her by Hijikata just the other day. It was a hand me down and she had to patch part of the kimono but it fitted her perfectly. After changing she quickly went to the _dango _stall just around the area. The moment she went out the temple she remembered how Hijikata scolded her again about going out when he visited her but she can't refuse the old monks request, since it's one of the few things she could do to repay them for their kind heartedness for her. _"Besides, the sun is up. What could go wrong?"_ she thought as she looked up the paper lanterns that lined the streets.

She returned as quickly as she can after getting her hands on the _dango._ As she entered the shrine grounds she noticed a man standing in front of the main shrine. She decided to just go pass him, since he was probably just another visitor, but she took a second glance at him and realized that she's seen the man before. The man's eyes caught hers and walked towards her, stopping only when he was a couple of steps away from her.

"You." He looked at her from head to toe. "Where are the elder monks?"

_"__He probably doesn't remember me"_ she thought. "They're currently in the building in the north end preparing for tonight."

"Is that so? Then can you bring me to them? I have some business with them"

She nodded. "Sure" then she started to walk ahead of him.

"So you stay here." he said with his low but soothing voice. "but you surely aren't a monk in training"

Chizuru stopped and turned to him. "Uhm…"

"You thought I don't remember you" he smirked.

She ducked her head. "Thanks again for helping me the other night"

He just looked at her and started to walk ahead. She caught up with him and walked next to him. Upon reaching the building where the elder monks were she handed the _dango_ to an apprentice monk who was responsible for food.

"Excuse me" she knelt outside the room. Before she can say anything more the monks turned their way and stood up.

"Kazama-san" said one of them with a slight bow.

"Saionji, I believe we have something to discuss" Kazama said without even greeting the elder monks with a bow. Chizuru noticed that the monks don't seem to mind his arrogance around them. Saionji left and led Kazama to another room, followed by the two other elder monks. Chizuru wanted to eavesdrop but one of the apprentices called her to help in the kitchen.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"You there" the familiar voice called Chizuru's attention and she stopped walking.

"Huh?" she turned around and saw that the man called Kazama was walking towards her.

"Are you aware that soon this place would no longer belong to the monks?"

"What do you mean by that? The monks would always be in charge of the place even if some people move in here" she explained, aware that he was talking about the Shinsengumi moving their headquarters in the temple.

"Well, they will be in charge of the place but things would change around here soon." He crossed his arms on his chest.

"And so?"

"This would no longer be a place fit for a woman. You should leave while you can" he said as he started to walk away.

Chizuru's jaw almost dropped. _"My disguise…is it that bad?"_ she thought then followed him. "Wait!" He stopped and turned to her. "How did you…"

"How did I know?" he said then chuckled. "A man would never shriek like you do"

"Eh?!" she then remembered how she cried for help the other night.

He was about to turn away from her but she tugged his sleeve. "What's it now?"

"Please" she ducked her head. "Don't tell anyone…"

"Who would I tell?" he interrupted. As she looked up at him, he realized how innocent and fragile she looked with a faint glimmer in her eyes that enticed him to her. He smirked and leaned down, so that their face would be in the same level. He quickly but gently ran a finger down the side of her face. "Such a shame that a beauty like you would have to hide in men's clothing. I wonder why?" he smirked as she quickly moved a step back.

"That's none of your business" she said looking him in the eyes, trying to exude a tough aura.

"I wasn't planning to ask" he said with a small laugh. "See you around" he muttered as he started to walk away.

"Huh?" she took another step but stopped when she saw Hijikata walking in front of a small group of men up the stairs. _"The Shinsengumi. I should go tell the monks"_ she went to a nearby tree and left her broom before running off to one of the main building.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Hijikata saw Chizuru standing in front of the temple with a broom in her hand as he was nearing the top steps of the temple stairs. _"She's really doing her part to help out"_ he thought, a small smile escaped his lips. That was when his eyes met those of a man who was just making his way down. He noticed that the man's eyes were crimson and his hair was pale, surely not someone he's seen before.

A slight smirk formed on Kazama's lips as his eyes met with a man who was followed by those who wore a light blue _haori. _On an instant he knew that he must be one of the leaders of the _Shinsengumi_. _"Interesting. I never thought I'd run into these guys today" _he diverted his look as soon as the man with the dark stern eyes turned his gaze away from him. _"Shinsengumi huh?"_ he thought as he continued down the short set of stairs.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

_"__The Shinsengumi would be moving here in a few days."_ Chizuru thought as she sat down one of the stone benches behind the shrine.

"Sakura" a soft voice called her from behind one of the pillars. Chizuru stood up and went to the source of the voice.

"The ninja!" she exclaimed.

"Hijikata-san has a message for you" Yamazaki handed her a letter folded into a crane.

Chizuru received it in her palm and smiled at it. "Thank you..." the moment she looked up the ninja was no longer around. Quickly, she went to her room and undid the folds.

_"__I won't be able to drop by the temple till we move our headquarters. Tomorrow at noon, meet me at the old shrine where we used to meet."_ She read the letter with his voice in her mind.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru was walking in a quick pace, wanting to arrive to the shrine earlier than Hijikata. There weren't that much people on the streets so it was easier to move around. She was already near the shrine when she saw Kazama who was walking towards her direction. She didn't slow down despite noticing that he has his eyes on her.

He held her arm as soon she walked pass him. "You should try doing a better job at pretending like you don't see me. What's the hurry?"

She looked at him. Her heart started pounding both with the sudden fear from the dominant aura he emits and friction as they touched. "I just have to go somewhere. Why should I tell you anyway?"

He chuckled, smelling her tension as he held her, so he let her go. She continued on like nothing happened. He noticed that she was heading for the direction of the old shrine. "Hey, you!" he called.

Chizuru stopped to look back. "Hhmn?"

"Don't you stay at a huge temple?" he asked crossing his arms casually as he locked his eyes with hers. "But you still walk this far to visit that rundown shrine. What are you? Planning to be a holy woman?"

"What if I do? It's really none of your concern" she replied with a pout as she started to get annoyed with Kazama. _"This guy. Why do I have to keep running into him?"_

He smirked at her. "If you become a holy woman then I'd never get a chance with you"

She was taken aback with what he said. "What chance?"

Kazama was about to say another word but noticed that someone was walking towards their direction and it wasn't just anybody, it was the man from the Shinsengumi which he saw the other day.

"Till next time" He smiled slyly then turned to go.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"Chizuru" Hijikata called in an indifferent manner with furrowed brows as he was nearing her.

Chizuru almost jumped in surprise. Turning around, she was greeted by Hijikata's stern face which told her that he wasn't in a good mood. She was about to say something but he walked past her then towards the shrine just after a path lined with aged trees.

"Uhhmmm…Is something wrong?" she asked as soon as he stopped walking.

He turned to her still with the same expression on his face. "I didn't knew that you were acquainted with someone here in Kyoto"

_"__Oh no! He must've seen me speaking with that Kazama guy"_ she thought. "I'm not acquainted with anyone…"

"Then who was that guy? He looked like someone who was pretty glad to see you" he interjected.

"Eh?! No…I just ran into him here."

"Do you know him?" he asked in an irritated manner, one of his furrowed brows rising a bit as he spoke.

She shook her head. "Not really. That guy…" she started. She thought of telling him that he saved her life but that might infuriate him even more if he learns that she got into trouble. "He went to the shrine to talk to the monks the other day, that's where I first met him."

"And?" he said sounding pissed.

"And we talked a bit when I brought him to the monks."

_"__I did saw that guy in the temple that day when there was a festival"_ Hijikata suddenly remembered the man with the crimson eyes. "What business did he have with the monks?"

"I don't know. I helped in the kitchen afterwards"

He didn't say anything more then walked towards a nearby tree for shade, since the sun was at its peak, then leaned back. Chizuru stood next to him and stole glances at him in the short while of silence between them, trying to see if he was still in a bad mood.

"Chizuru" he turned to her. "When we move to the temple in 4 days, we'd be busy moving our things and assigning quarters on the first day. Try not to come out the whole day since the place would be sprawling with men. I don't want you to get into any incident that might cause your identity to be revealed."

"Alright" she said with a nod.

"We have to let them know though that you exist to give you a chance to work under me. I was thinking about making you my attendant"

"An attendant" she muttered, listing in her mind the responsibilities that might cover.

"I was actually considering sending you someplace else" he glanced at her and saw the mix of surprise and fear in her eyes. "What we're doing is pretty risky; I don't know how things would unfold. It would be hard to fool anyone that you're man for a prolonged period of time. It might be easy to pull it off if it was just short encounters"

"But…but…. I don't want to be away from you" she looked at him with a pretty upset look in her eyes. "I'd do my best to keep the secret! I promise I'd try not to screw up. I'm practicing to move more like a man and I can even speak in a manlier voice"

He chuckled and placed a hand over her head. "I said I was considering the idea but obviously we're not going through with it" he took his hand away from her head. "Just trust me. We'll pull through"

She smiled warmly at him. "I'm just glad that I'd get to see you more often and I'd be of use to you"

"What are you saying?"

"I mean, if I'm your attendant then I'd be able to do something to pay you back for everything you've done for me so far" she said blushing slightly as she clasped her hands together.

"Stupid" he said with a low groan. "What I did wasn't a debt you have to pay. It was something I decided myself."

"But…" she muttered.

"Chizuru" he straightened up. "Staying beside me wouldn't be easy"

"I don't care. It doesn't matter where you go. I'd follow." She looked at him with conviction. "And no matter what happens in the future. I promise to stay with you" She reached for his hand and held it gently in between her palms.

He snickered, held her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. "It scares me when you promise me things like that"

She lifted his hand which she was holding, brushed her lips on the back of his hand and planted a kiss on it. "I'm so happy I get to see you today"

"You're making it harder for me to control myself when you act like that" he sighed then his face suddenly turned stern once more. "By the way, Chizuru, I don't want you talking to that guy again."

"Hijikata…" she muttered.

"If he even tries to flirt with you tell me and I'd give him a taste of my wrath" he scowled.

_"__Is he jealous?"_ she thought, flustered with how he was reacting. "Alright…"

"Things are different now Chizuru. You're mine, you get that?" he said strictly. She noticed that his pale cheeks seem to have a hint of a blush, either from the heat or from saying those words to her.

She nodded with a giggle. "Yes sir!" she replied chirpily.

"I'd have to get going. I have to meet Kondo-san in an official's house just around the area. Go back to the temple immediately" he turned to leave with a small contented smile on his lips.

She nodded and walked a couple of steps behind him. Upon reaching the road they went their separate ways.

* * *

**Note:**_ The cranes... I don't know if there is origami that time but I was writing on paper the day before I wrote this chapter and I ended up using that paper for origami *instead of throwing it into the trash* hence the idea for the letter hahahaha Also all this time, as i was writing this, I never once imagined Chizuru wearing the pink kimono and white hakama she wore in the series (the colors gave her gender off) but to point that out I decided to give her a new set of clothes in the story hahaha blue and black seems manly. *I'm just blabberin' here hahaha never mind me*. And yeah Kazama... I don't dislike him but I like the competitive air between him and Toshi so yeah..._


	8. Crucial Masquerade

**Crucial Masquerade**

"So this is the new headquarters, eh? Not bad" Shinpachi said as he looked around after putting down a case containing some of his personal items.

"I agree. This is much bigger than our last headquarters" Heisuke nudged him as he went on to the main hall.

"Heisuke" Okita hissed as he saw Heisuke approaching.

"Got nothing to do?" Heisuke dropped his things on the ground and sat next to Okita who was sitting on the steps without a care in the world, an irony of the scene around him, drying his hair with the help of the midday heat and the whistling wind.

A smirk appeared on Okita's lips. "I'm sick, so I let them do the work for me" he chuckled.

"Unfair!" Heisuke exclaimed. "Come on! How long are you gonna pretend to be sick. I know you just feel like slacking off!"

Okita laughed. "Then why don't you pretend with me then?"

"Sorry but I don't want to get spanked by you know who." Heisuke said with a wink and the two of them laughed in unison.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"Tousen-dono" Chizuru bowed her head then smiled at one of the elder monks. "Thanks for these change of clothes. I could really use them"

"Not a problem. They are just a couple of things left by those who move on to train in another temple." The old man said with a smile. "Hojo and Saionji suggested that you use the bathroom behind the building we're currently occupying. Given your situation we couldn't allow you to fall victim to men's weak calls from the flesh." The monks sighed "You know, Yukimura, since you no longer have any relatives that you know of, if you really need a place to stay we can send you away to a safer place. Kyoto is unstable at the moment and as you see the temple acquired tenants. You might find it hard if you insist on staying here"

Chizuru ducked her head a bit with a faint smile. "Thank you very much for everything you've done for me but I can't see myself anywhere else at the moment. Please allow me to stay here"

"Of course. It is not a problem if you stay here, you've helped us a lot in chores… but now…Yukimura, are you sure you don't mind?"

She nodded her head. "Besides, Hojo-dono might crave for my porridge and _Miso_ soup" she giggled and the monk did as well.

"Well. I understand." The old man stood up.

Chizuru bowed. "Thank you for keeping my identity as well"

"Not a problem. Besides with the way things are, it's better if you are presented as a boy" the monk said then left the room.

Chizuru sat up then reached for her _futon_ and unrolled it. She lay supine with her feet on top of her pillow which was on top of her clothes, keeping her feet elevated. _"I feel quite lucky that this started yesterday. Now I have a legit reason to stay here. On the other hand it would be hard to wash the stained cloth and I could really use a good warm bath now"_ she patted her lower abdomen which felt a bit cramped due to her red day. _"This should end in a few days though"_

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"I'd be heading to my quarters now. You should do the same." Saitou placed his cup down, next to the jar of _sake_. "For a hot day, it sure is a cold night." He stopped as Okita started coughing then continued when he finished. "It won't do your health any good if you stay out in the cold"

Okita smirked and finished the contents of his cup. "Aren't you a bit too worried about me?" when there was no reply he chuckled. "Alright. Alright. I'd be going. I'd just enjoy the moon for a bit longer" he said as he made a gesture to shoo Saitou away. With that Saitou was on his way.

_"__Everyone's too worried. It's just a little co…"_ he started coughing again, this time a bit more violently. As he stopped he covered his eyes with a hand for a while because the coughing made his head throb. _"What a nuisance!"_ he thought as he poured himself another cup. Just as he was about to take a swig he felt an incoming hurried movement just on the pathway lined with bushes to his right. Despite the dimness of the surroundings, his eyes caught those of another in a short distance.

"Nee!" he called out as he stood up, with his _katana_ in hand, and took a couple of steps towards the pathway. He noticed that the person seemed to be surprised and backed off. "What are you doing sneaking around here?" He reached for the hilt of his _katana_. "I don't seem to have seen your face around here. A spy probably?"

"Ah…" came the surprised voice from the frail looking young man, who held a lantern and a bunch of folded clothes under his arm. "I'm not a spy…I'm an errand boy"

Souji smiled and pulled out his _katana_. "I don't remember us hiring one and why would the monks need an errand boy?" he took another step closer and with the light from the lantern the boy was holding he got a clearer view of his face. For a moment he doubted that he was talking to a boy for the young man in front of him had a delicate, sweet looking face. "It seems like you're in a hurry. Why don't you tell me about the errand you have to run at this time?"

"I'm on my way to the area inhabited by the monks. I was taken in by them… I swear I'm no spy… so please…"

Okita pointed his sword at the boy, just a couple of inches from his cheek but moved it away when someone quickly approached them.

"Souji!" Heisuke said in surprise as he stopped and took in the scene in front of him. "You, who are you?" he said with a small growl as he turned to the unknown person in front of him.

"Ah…I'm the monks' errand boy" came the reply with a nervous bow.

"Eh?! I haven't seen you…" Heisuke was interrupted by a unison of gasp.

"Yukimura!" exclaimed one of the apprentice monks who ran to Chizuru. He shot a glance at both Heisuke and Okita.

"Please. There is no need to resort to violence." said another one who popped next to Heisuke.

Okita laughed and sheathed his sword. "Well, I guess I got excited over nothing" he turned but stopped to cough for a bit then continued on.

"Yukimura, are you alright?" said another one who went next to Chizuru.

Chizuru nodded with a small smile. "It was nothing"

Heisuke, with his hands clasped behind his head, observed the boy in front of him. _"His face looks too feminine for a boy. Hhhhmmm… well I guess there are men born to play lead roles in a big shot Kabuki play"_ he thought then sighed.

"I'm Toudou Heisuke." he introduced himself with a smile and the group in front of him ducked their head. "and you're?"

"Yukimura" Chizuru replied hesitantly.

"Anyway sorry for the scare but you're lucky I got here on time or else Souji might have already cut you down" he laughed jokingly and stopped as he saw the frightened expression on the groups face. "Anyway, it's nice meeting you. See yah!" he said then skipped over the bushes and ran towards the same direction Okita went.

_"__I really thought I was done for"_ Chizuru sighed exhaustedly.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

It's been three days since the _Shinsengumi_ moved in the temple but Chizuru still had not seen Hijikata even once. She stayed inside her quarters most of the day, half afraid that the incident from the other night to happen again.

Chizuru sighed and fell back on her futon then gazed at the _kodachi_ which was given to her by Hijikata that night she escaped from the brothel. _"Will I ever get to use that? I hope not"_ another sigh escaped her lips and she turned on her side. _"What's he doing now? I really…"_

Her thoughts were interrupted with the quick sliding open and closing of her door. She sat up and looked at the man she was longing to see all this time with a heartfelt smile.

"Sneaking around really is a pain" he groaned then sat down looking a bit irritated.

Chizuru laughed then got out of her futon and sat across him. "How are things going?"

"Not so good" he sighed exhaustedly. "And you? Okita told me that he mistaken the monks' errand boy for a spy. On an instant I knew it was you. That got me a bit worried" he paused. "I see that you're fine so that's a relief. Anyway work with Yamazaki tomorrow. Yamazaki has been the guy delivering my messages to you."

"The ninja?" she muttered.

"He'd be in the storage house just behind our quarters in midday. He'd be arranging some records, so help him out. He's the only other person who knows about the whole thing so it's best if you work with him first"

She nodded eagerly. "Alright. Is that all?"

In reply a small smile played on Hijikata's lips as he slithered next to her, sliding his arm around her waist. He inched his face closer to hers and brushed his lips on her cheek. "That's all for tomorrow" he whispered in her ear, making her shiver a bit. "But tonight I have more things in mind" he kissed her ear as his hand started to pull away her _kimono_.

Chizuru held his hand to stop him and looked at him blushing a bit. "Not tonight" she pecked a kiss on his gaped lips. "It's that time of the month"

He let out a defeated sigh and held her tightly. "Alright" another sigh escaped his lips. "Anyway, there are more people around now so we can't just do as we please right?" he said knowing that if someone sees him going into or out her room it would raise suspicions about the identity of the person staying in the room. He know they should be careful. He can't just let his carnal desires get the best of him but as a man still in his prime sometimes even a good self-discipline won't work at times.

"Would you like me to sing for you instead?" she said softly as she rested her head on his chest.

"Someone might hear"

"The crickets are singing loudly tonight" she giggled. "I'll sing softly so that only you can hear" After seeing him smile at her, she closed her eyes and started singing.

He looked down at her as she sang, feeling flustered with how beautiful the creature in his arms was. He remembered the first time he laid eyes on her, the awe he felt and that quickening of his heartbeat as their skin touched for the first time. She was still as beautiful as she was then but it wasn't only her beauty that caught his heart. It was the warmth in her smile despite her situation at that time, her eyes which told him a lot without her having to speak and her voice which he longed to be called with.

After the song she smiled at him and in reply he planted a kiss on her lips. "I should probably go now" he said letting her loose.

"Probably, good night then" she replied as she sat up.

"Don't forget about tomorrow" he reminded before leaving her room.

* * *

**Note: **_Keeping my feet elevated on my red says sure helps me ease the cramps. I was confused with what honorific to use with the monks...so I just used dono...they add -bou but I'm not sure how to use it so I just used -dono. _


	9. Yukimura's Debut

**Yukimura's Debut **

"Good morning" she ducked her head upon seeing Yamazaki who was just about to enter the storage house.

"Oh, Yukimura" Yamazaki replied and looked at her from head to toe, still a bit surprised at her transformation from the first time he met her. "Just in time" he opened the doors and went in. "I'd be organizing some records which they obviously just stuffed here" he looked a bit tired already upon seeing how disorganized the room was. "Actually I'm looking for a certain set of records. They are medical records and a list of men who joined us last spring"

"Alright. I suggest we start by removing those which probably contains documents then organize the things there before looking for the records" Chizuru suggested as she stepped into the storage room.

"I guess that would be best. We won't be able to find anything in this mess"

They immediately started with the job. After a while a couple of members saw them and helped out with carrying the heavy stuff. Before sunset, the storage room was fixed with the help of other members who volunteered to help. They were able to retrieve a dozen of drawers and chests containing records and other documents. Yamazaki ordered the men to help him bring them to his quarters.

"We just have to go through these" Yamazaki turned to Chizuru as the man laid down the last item and left his room.

"Alright" she replied enthusiastically. She went to the nearest drawer and started removing its contents. Yamazaki also started rummaging on a wooden chest next to her.

"We should really start putting labels at these things" Yamazaki uttered to himself as he wiped away dust from the stack of paper in his hand.

Chizuru glanced at him with a smile. "It's nice of you to volunteer to do the storage cleaning"

"I really wouldn't volunteer for that. It's just that I'm also a medic and documents on treatments are important to me. I also have to check on our recruitment for some other matter. These boxes containing documents were probably placed in the storage because no one bothered to check what's inside and didn't know where to put these when we moved headquarters" he explained.

"These looks like medical records" she turned to him.

"They are" he took them and scanned them then placed it beside him. "Thanks" There was a while of silence as they continued retrieving the documents they needed. "Yukimura, so how are you adapting to the place so far?" he inquired, breaking the silence.

"I haven't been out my room this long since you guys moved here but I'll survive" she replied.

"I see."

The two of them stopped what they were doing as they heard footsteps approaching the room.

"What are you doing? Kondo-san brought home snacks better get there now or you'll eat dust" Shinpachi peeked at the room then his gaze stuck at Chizuru whose eyes meet with his. "Who's the new kid?"

"Nagakura-san, this is Yukimura." Yamazaki introduced Chizuru who ducked her head and continued with what she was doing. "He's the monks' errand boy but we could really use his help around here"

"Eh?!" Heisuke popped from behind Shinpachi and then entered the room. "Yukimura. You're the guy from the other night" Chizuru just nodded in reply.

"You met him already?" Shinpachi asked entering the room after Heisuke.

Heisuke nodded. "Okita mistaken him for a spy and he almost got his head cut off"

"Is that so?" Shinpachi looked at Chizuru. "Poor thing. He looks too dainty to even be able to lift a sword. Are you sure he's a boy?" he chuckled.

Heisuke went next to Chizuru and patted her back with force, almost making her tumble over. "With proper training and some food he's look as sturdy as me in no time"

Shinpachi laughed. "Call yourself sturdy once you get these babies" he said flexing his arm muscles then stood up. "Just go and get your share. I don't want mine to be swiped away. See you" Shinpachi left with a grin.

Heisuke came running after him. "You've already got your share! Oi! Wait"

Chizuru sighed, feeling at ease now that they were gone. "They're a lively pair"

"Yukimura, it must be hard pretending as a boy" Yamazaki glanced at her.

She nodded. "But I decided on this so I have to keep it up"

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru felt like her heart was in her throat as she stopped in front of the dining area's door. She cleared her throat before excusing herself in the manliest voice she can manage. As she slid open the door, she was welcomed by stares from the men sitting in a circle inside. She entered with the tray of hot tea, trying to avoid their eyes.

"So how are you doing errand boy?" Chizuru heard the familiar voice and turned to its source and was greeted by a smirk. "You haven't forgotten about me, have you?" Okita added.

"Oi! Oi! Souji, you're scaring him" Heisuke interrupted then turned to Chizuru. "Anyway, why are you serving our tea Yukimura?"

"Hey you're the one working with Yamazaki the other day right?" Shinpachi took the tea from Chizuru.

"I've seen you running around the place doing this and that but I didn't know that you were already acquainted with them" Sano said crossing his arms.

The door slid open before Chizuru can speak. She turned to the direction of the door and was somehow relieved to see Hijikata standing there with the commander, Kondo-san, and a man she still doesn't know behind him.

"So how did it go?" Okita inquired.

"It was the same as always but they'd need our help at one point or another they're just putting on airs at the moment." Hijikata replied as he sat down, trying to act like he didn't notice Chizuru's presence at all.

"Wouldn't that give us problems in the future?" Saitou finally spoke and it was the only time that Chizuru noticed his presence.

_"__He was the guy from that night_" she remembered him from when she went to the doctor's house in town. She retreated to the side of the room with her tray.

"I hope not" Hijikata replied. "You there" he darted a cold glare at Chizuru who sat up attentively. "Get us some tea"

"Yes" she replied and left the room quickly.

"You know the kid?" Shinpachi inquired.

Hijikata nodded. "He's been running errands around here"

"Yukimura was taken in by the monks but it seems like he doesn't mind lending us a hand" Kondo added.

"Is he a new recruit?" Saitou inquired.

"No. Just an errand boy" Hijikata replied.

"He's got quite a pretty face for a boy" Sano said with a small smile. "Actually I feel like I've seen him before"

"I thought you only remember women" Shinpachi teased him with a nudge.

"Of course not anyway I must be mistaken, never mind." Sano replied then he started some small talk with his friend about a nice new place to grab some drinks. Heisuke butted in, not wanting to get left behind.

Moments later Chizuru came back with the tea and served them. After doing so she fled to the corner of the room, waiting for instructions.

"You can leave now" Hijikata commanded. Chizuru ducked her head and quickly left the room. As she did, she felt eyes on her back. Well she can't blame them, she was new and it wouldn't hurt on their end to be suspicious. It was a short but stressful encounter. She smiled at herself nonetheless for doing a job well done.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"Tsk. I lost again" Heisuke sheathed his sword and scratched his head.

"Don't worry you might get me next time" Okita chuckled. He turned to Saitou who was practicing on his own. "Would you like to go at it?"

Saitou retained his stance and glanced at Okita with a faint smile. "I'll pass"

"Are you sure?" he said then noticed the errand boy watching them attentively. "Hey you! Come down here" he called.

Chizuru sat up and pointed at herself, unsure if it was really her he was calling.

"Who else?" he placed a hand on his waist and watched as the errand boy approached. "You enjoyed watching that you didn't even noticed that you're drooling" Okita teased as soon as Chizuru stopped in front of him, a bit tensed.

"EH?!" Chizuru wiped her lips with her sleeves and furrowed her brows upon realizing that he was just making fun of her.

"You seem interested with what we're doing. Haven't seen someone spar before?" he asked.

"I have but it wasn't as intense as your fight" she replied looking away from his eyes which seem to dig through her

"Is that so?" he said tilting his head a bit, observing her keenly. He handed her a wooden sword which was lying nearby. "Here. You should try it if you're interested"

"No! I'm really…." Chizuru held out the sword back to Okita.

"A couple of swings won't hurt" he smiled, pushing back the sword to her.

Chizuru wasn't sure what to make of his smile. It wasn't a friendly smile at all. _"I'm supposed to be a man now. A man doesn't chicken out on these things"_ She gripped the hilt tightly. "Alright" she finally agreed.

"Woah! So you're ready to show us your stuff. Eh? Yukimura" Heisuke grinned.

Chizuru shook her head. "No! I'm not good at this at all"

"So you have knowledge on how to use a sword" Okita picked up another wooden sword and whipped it on the open space beside him, making a cutting sound in the air.

"Just a bit…but I practiced with a short sword before" she replied as she positioned herself in a stance which she wasn't even sure was right.

Okita smirked. "I see"

"Souji…" Saitou called his attention with his soothingly calm voice.

Okita glanced at him. "Don't worry I know. I won't hurt the kid" as he said that his eyes narrowed at Chizuru who was trying not to tremble. She really didn't expect that she'd end up having to spar with one of the best in the group.

"Anytime you're ready" he taunted her a bit by not even going on either a defensive or offensive stance.

Chizuru noticed this and felt like he was really looking down at her. "Alright" she replied, then charged at him with all she's got. Okita blocked her attack without effort and pushed her back, giving her another chance. She attacked once more but this time the wooden sword flew from her hands without her even knowing it. Her jaw dropped and her eyes met Okita's judging eyes. The tip of the wooden sword was gently resting below her chin. She moved back and so did he, dropping the wooden sword casually on the ground.

"Yukimura" Heisuke rushed to Chizuru and slapped her back. "You weren't that bad. You were up against Souji so you were really bound to lose" he laughed.

_"__And that's supposed to make me feel better?"_ she thought as she smiled at him. "Thank you for…" she ducked her head.

"It's nothing" Okita interrupted as he walked towards Saitou. "Well, Yukimura" he said with an emphasis on her name. "Don't you have anything else you need to do?" he asked glancing back at her.

"Ah!" she exclaimed, remembering that she promised to cook lunch for the elder monks. "Excuse me!" she ducked her head and rushed off.

"Souji, I'd go grab some drink" Heisuke said as he rushed of the other way without waiting for a reply.

Saitou sheathed his sword and started gathering the bunch of hay sliced in half which he used for practicing. "You're going on patrol tonight?" he glanced at Souji who didn't even bother to help him out.

"No. Hijikata's too worried to even let me out. Tch. It's not like I'd die from a cold."

"Actually, you can die from a cold"

"I'm going to die from boredom before dying from a cold" Okita replied then a mischievous smile formed on his lips. "But things just got interesting" he muttered to himself and walked off.


	10. Probability for the rain to fall

**Probability for rain to fall**

"And you expect me to allow that?" Hijikata raised a brow at Chizuru who was standing before him with the short sword he gave her in hand.

"Well, I'd really want to be your attendant but I'm not even that good at using a sword." She looked at him with conviction. "I mean the demon vice commander can't have a weak assistant, right?"

"Tch. And where did you hear that demon thing?" he said crossing his arms.

Chizuru held back a chuckle, since they were talking seriously. "Everyone knows it"

"That aside, I can't say yes to that request" he looked at her with a stern face.

"But I don't want to be a burden to you….I " she looked down, clenching the hilt of the short sword tighter.

"Shut it" he scowled. "If you see yourself as a burden then feel free to think that way." He turned his back to her and started walking away. Chizuru wanted to say more but with how he looked she knew that the conversation was over.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Kazama crossed his arms and looked at the men in front of him sharply. "Enough of that rubbish. I'm supporting your clan because it benefits me. It's up to you how you how you win your battles and eliminate your problems."

"Kazama-sama" muttered one of the men, bowing down. "I'm sorry to waste your time. We'd be leaving then. Thank you for everything"

"Good" he looked down his tea which was already cold. "and I really didn't want this one to go to waste" he uttered to himself and pushed the tea aside. He watched as the men left the room, all of them saying their thanks to them. As soon as the last man left, he stood up and sat on the window. He fished his pipe out, lighted it and started smoking._ "There's probably something better for me to do. I couldn't care less who wins the war. All I can do is provide them weapons and watch if they'd be able to pave away to the future they see fit" _he thought as he looked out the horizon.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru sat up as she heard the knocking on her door. She was sure it was still early and she didn't feel like getting up but upon hearing the voice from outside the door she forgot her sleepiness.

"Yuki…." Hijikata called for the third time and the door slid open before he can even finish. He looked down at Chizuru who was still in her night clothes.

"Hijikata" she beamed with excitement. Since the small argument they had yesterday he was giving her a cold shoulder, so she was glad to see him there.

"Tch." He placed a hand on the door and slid it close, surprising Chizuru. "Go and get dressed."

Chizuru blushed and realized that she wasn't dressed properly. Quickly she put on her clothes and tried to make herself not look like someone who just got out of bed. "Sorry" she muttered as she opened the door once more. He was waiting outside with his arms crossed and a straight face.

"Go get your short sword" he commanded and without questions asked Chizuru followed. "Come with me" he said then started walking off.

Chizuru followed closely behind. "Where are we going?"

"You wanted to learn how to defend yourself, right?" he said as they turned a corner and headed for the open area near the captains quarters where Saitou was practicing drawing his sword.

"Hijikata-san" Saitou sheathed his sword and acknowledged Hijikata's presence.

Hijikata pushed Chizuru forward. "Teach him what you can."

"I'll try" Saitou replied.

Chizuru looked back at Hijikata who started to walk away then looked at Saitou who was waiting for her to come closer. She strode to where Saitou was and ducked her head. "Ah…Please teach me Saitou-san. I'll do my best"

"Draw your sword" he said without further ado.

"Yes." She drew her sword and held it with both hands.

Saitou started the lesson by teaching her the proper posture and stance. After doing so he asked her to swing her sword in the way she knows how. He saw several flaws with how she did it and so he moved behind her and held out his hand, holding her hand firmly and guided her as she swings her sword.

"That's better. Now do it ten times with the foot work" he said as he stepped back. _"So my hunch was right"_ he thought as he keenly watched her.

They continued with the basics for another half hour and then Saitou ended the session.

"Thank you very much" Chizuru bowed after sheathing her sword.

"It was nothing. I was told that you wanted to learn how to defend yourself because of your constant mishap. Now I understand why you watched Okita and Toudou as they spar too eagerly" Saitou replied in almost a monotone.

_"__So Hijikata gave him that lie about me losing my family, getting robbed and so on"_ she thought and can't help but smile. She nodded at Saitou. "I want to be able to defend myself somehow"

"Always carry your sword then" Saitou caught her gaze. "What is a man without his sword anyway" he said then left without another word.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Closing his notebook after writing down a _haiku, _Hijikata stood up and opened the window. The nights are already turning chilly and winter was just a stone throw away. Crossing his arms, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly he opened his eyes, leaned on the windowsill and stared at the sky which suffered from the absence of its small sparkling lights but was covered by thin mist of clouds instead.

_"__It's probably going to rain"_ he thought as he got a whiff of the wind. A memory of a rainy night months ago flashed in his mind. He remembered how he strode down the streets without a care in the world, hoping that he gets to his destination before the first drops of rain fell, so that he could be with her. Thinking back, he realized how much he allowed his emotions to take over him but he doesn't resent one bit of the decisions he made related to her.

"Chizuru" he muttered her name softly, remembering how it tasted in his lips the first time her name touched his lips. He frowned and sighed. As if on cue he could hear marching drops of water falling and roaring in the distance. Soon enough it started pouring right outside his window as well. He took a step back from the window and closed it. _"She's so near but I can't even see her as I please"_ he thought feeling frustrated with the space they had to build between them in order to hide their secret.

His thoughts were then interrupted by footsteps just outside his room. He turned to his door as the person outside stopped.

"Hijikata-san" came the voice in its usual calm manner.

"Saitou" he muttered.

"I hope I'm not bothering you but can I speak to you for a moment"

"Sure. Come in" Hijikata sat down, waiting for his guest to enter and settle down.

Saitou closed the door and sat across him. "I was planning to inquire about this tomorrow but I saw you just closed your window. Forgive me. This is nothing important, I guess"

Hijikata gave him a small smile. "It's alright. Besides if it's you who requires a moment to talk about something it means that it's important so don't hold back"

Saitou nodded and thought for a while how to put his thoughts into words. "Hijikata-san, are you aware that Yukimura is a woman?" he was about to say more after the question but he noticed the change in Hijikata's expression, giving him the answer he was looking for. "It's not that it's beneficial to us but I can't help but wonder why she has to keep her identity. It actually makes me suspicious of her"

Hijikata just stared back at Saitou, keeping his composure the best he could. He knew that they'd find out eventually, he's even got his explanation prepared but he was still caught off guard. He cleared his throat then sighed. "Yes. Yukimura is a woman" he replied.

"I see. I was suspicious of her motives, like Souji I thought that maybe she's a spy but her skills are just below someone who would qualify as one. Besides I remember her from that night months ago. A boy resembling her was with you but now that I think about it I believe it was her then"

_"__This is even worst. Now he might think we knew each other well before"_ Hijikata nodded and crossed his arms. "Yes. She was that same person. I ran into her when I visited the temple to talk with the monks and helped her that night. I never asked for her reason then, it was none of my concern. I should've told you"

"It's alright. As you said she's ran into trouble. Travelling as a woman would be dangerous." Saitou paused. "It really doesn't concern us much. Besides I personally think that keeping her façade as a boy would be just fine"

"I thought the same when I found out about it. Staying here as a woman might cause some ruckus so I decided and suggested that she stay as a boy"

"It must've been hard for her"

"It is"

"But should we allow her to continue helping around?"

"What do you think?"

"Personally I don't mind. Besides she has been taking orders from you. I think that you did great to assign her to work around us only Hijikata-san. I mean, mingling with other members might jeopardize her secret as well as her safety. Also she isn't involved in our affairs so I guess that's fine"

"Right. Saitou, for now please don't tell anyone. They might know but I'd want to tell them myself." Hijikata sighed. "I'm sure Kondo-san would be surprised."

"He would be."

"Is that all?"

"Yes" Saitou ducked his head. "I'd be taking my leave now. You'd be departing for Nara at dawn. Please rest well, Hijikata-san" he said politely as usual.

Hijikata nodded. "Please take care of things while I'm gone. We'd be back by dinner but you'd never know what might happen, so I'm counting on you"

"Of course" Saitou replied as he stood up bowed and left the room.

Hijikata fell back the tatami covered floor with a thud and sighed exhaustedly. He started massaging the bridge of his nose. Others must've realized it by now but he was relieved that Saitou was one of them if that's the case. Saitou understands things in different perspectives and he's not one to judge someone easily. Somehow Hijikata feels guilty for telling him a lie about Chizuru's story of how she ended up in the temple but he comforted his conscience by thinking that everything else was true, she lost her dad and tripped into series of unfortunate events. The only lie was that he left out the part about them being lovers and her being from the red light district but it was a necessary lie.

He suddenly sat up as he remembered something. _"Now that I think about it, Sano and Shinpachi were the ones who picked her out that night…. But they don't seem to remember her one bit"_ he growled getting irritated with how stressful things are. _"Sano did say that she looks familiar…."_ A thought popped in his mind. "Tch. Of course nothing like that happened" he mumbled. _"If they did have a….a…well… an encounter before I'm sure Chizuru would've told me."_ He groaned, stood up and pulled out his futon. "Crap!" he rolled it out, grabbed his pillow and blanket. "I'm going to sleep" his brows furrowed as he lay down and forced his eyes shut.

_"__It doesn't matter how many men she's been with before. It's not like she wanted to be with them anyway. She's mine now and no one else would have her other than me. Also she told me that I'm …"_ he felt his cheeks burn at the thought of her words. "_Her first love…"_ he turned to his side and pulled the blanket over his shoulders. "Tsk! Damn it! I'm a grown man and I still get flustered by this nonsense" he mumbled to himself with an irritated sigh. He tossed and turned for a while before finally finding a comfortable position before dozing off.

* * *

**Note:** _We all have our monologue moments and I had one before writing this chapter hence the last scene... hihi... _


	11. Snowflakes at dawn

**Snowflakes at dawn**

"Wow! I never thought I'd get to eat something this good tonight" Heisuke said as he chomped down on his food.

"Thanks Yukimura! You can always cook our food from now on, alright?" Shinpachi said with a grin then he pulled Heisuke's bowl of soup and licked it dry.

"OI!" Heisuke jumped up and grabbed his bowl, as usual a fight over the food started.

Chizuru who remained on the corner of the room giggled as she watched them. She didn't expect that it would be fun to be around them somehow but something or rather someone was making her uncomfortable at the moment. She glanced at Okita who was obviously observing her. As their eyes met he gave her that double edged smile of him. There was a sudden jolt of nervousness in her and so she turned away from him. She ducked her head and was about to excuse herself when Okita called her attention.

"Yes" she looked at him, keeping her composure.

"What's the hurry? You can stay and eat here if you like" he said, putting down his bowl. "Actually we've just ran out of something to talk about" he crossed his arms. "How about you tell us about yourself, Yukimura. Just to keep the ball rolling"

Saitou casted a quick glance at Okita then at Chizuru. He had an idea where the conversation was going. He noticed that Heisuke and Shinpachi shut their trap, curious with what's the serious conversation was about in their side of the circle.

"Now that's interesting" Sano stopped eating and turned to them. "How'd you got the position as errand boy here anyway?" he said with a sly smile.

_"__Is it just me or is the cat out of the box already?"_ Chizuru scratched her head and smiled at them. "Well it's not much of a story… I mean how I got here and all"

"Hhhmm. Really?" Okita was obviously enjoying the interrogation.

"It's something I'd rather not speak about but…" she had the whole explanation in her head.

Saitou interrupted. "Let's respect his privacy. His story is his to keep, if that's what he please"

"Eh? Don't be such a kill joy. This is just a little getting to know" Souji said with a chuckle. "Unless you know something that we don't" he looked at Chizuru with judging and accusing eyes. His lips curled as if to taunt her.

"Souji…" Heisuke turned to Okita finally realizing that something's up.

"Would you care to tell us about that little secret of yours, Yukimura?" Souji said teasingly.

"Secret? I don't have any …." She replied keeping her cool but she was sweating under her sleeve.

"Really? Then tell me all about you pretending to be a man when in fact you're a woman" Okita said with a serious face.

Shinpachi almost spitted the tea he just drank in surprise. "WHAT?! Yukimura is a woman?!" he pointed at her.

"I knew it. I'd always know a woman when I see one" Sano said scratching his chin knowingly with a smile. "Well, I don't really care for your gender but I want to know your motives for pretending to be a man. Is it just a coincidence that someone pretending to be a man lived in a temple where the headquarters was getting moved? And now she's offering her services to us running errands and all"

"Suspicious eh?" Okita added.

"Yukimura" Hiesuke muttered looking at her a bit disheartened with her secret.

Saitou cleared his throat gaining everyone's attention. "I know you guys think that she's a spy but she doesn't have the skill to be one"

"She might not be good with the sword but sending someone weak lessens suspicion" Okita replied. "They even send kids to do the job you know"

Sano grinned. "Besides a female spy doesn't have to be that good with the sword to gain information if she's a master in bed."

"I don't have any ulterior motives for helping out." Chizuru finally blurted out in her normal feminine voice. No point in pretending, now that the chicken is out of its coop. "Please just hear me out, there's a reason why I'm here pretending as a boy" she stood up with her fist clenched, feeling frustrated.

Saitou noticed that Okita and Sano would probably push her further into the corner. He sighed. "I knew that she was a girl and I know the reason why he's presented himself as a boy. Hijikata knows too." He spoke in hopes to get her out of hot waters.

The door suddenly slid open. "What do I know too?" Hijikata appeared with a furrowed brow. Seeing Chizuru standing looking upset and the look on everyone else's face he instantly knew what was happening. "What's the fuss all about? I can hear your voices from down the hall" he entered, Kondo-san, Sannan and Inoue followed him and they sat at their usual spot.

"Are you guys bullying Yukimura?" Kondo asked, knowing that the guys can be mean sometimes especially to a frail looking kid like him.

"No we were just trying to find out why Yukimura is pretending to be a boy, that's all" Souji replied.

"Huh? A what?!" Kondo looked at Chizuru.

Chizuru just wanted to run to Hijikata and hide behind him, to keep her from the confused and judging stares but she sucked it up. She ducked her head. "I'm sorry. He's right. I'm a woman"

"You are?" Kondo looked at Hijikata who just nodded.

"I'm sorry. I was going to tell you but it was something so trivial I forgot about it" Hijikata replied crossing his arms.

"We still have to hear what she has to say though" Okita said looking back at Chizuru.

Chizuru gave them a deep bow. "I'm sorry everyone. I was the one who asked not to reveal my identity. The monks took me in knowing that I'm actually a girl." She looked at everyone who was attentively listening to her. A quick glance at Hijikata and she noticed the creases in between his brows as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was originally from Edo. I lost my family and came to Kyoto to look for my father but he's probably dead now" she paused as she mentioned her father.

"I had to pretend as a boy to make travelling more convenient and safe. I tried my luck looking for my father here but just a couple of days here and I ran into some robbers who took all of my money. I had no other place to go so I went to this temple, hid and slept in the shrine for nights. They found me and took me in since I've got nowhere else to go. I became their errand boy soon after." She looked down with a frown. "My troubles led me here and nothing else."

"So that's why…" Kondo looked at her with pity. "Yukimura" he called her and smiled when she looked up to him. "It's alright. You lied but I understand why you did so. It must've been pretty hard on you."

"That's it? So we just let her stay?" Sannan inquired.

"Well we can't just kick her out from the temple. She came here before we were even here and she's got no place to go" Kondo crossed his arms in deep thought. "Hijikata, you knew all along?" he received a nod and an exhausted sigh in reply. "Well what should we do?"

He knew the answer but he can't appear to be all on her side. He ran a quick look around the room and everyone was waiting for an answer. There was silence.

Heisuke then scrambled forward and raised his hand. "I…" he opened his mouth and everyone turned to him. "I think it's just fine if we let her stay. I mean she's been around us for a while now and it didn't seem to be a problem"

"He's got a point. Besides I won't feel that good if we threw out a woman who's no longer got anywhere else to go. She isn't interfering with our affairs so I don't really mind if she stays" Shinpachi supported Heisuke.

"Saitou, do you have anything you want to say?" Kondo glanced at the man who just listened with a straight face.

"As long as she doesn't meddle in our affairs I couldn't care less if she stays or go. I suggest that she keep up the act as a boy though." Saitou replied simply then sipped his tea which has already turned cold.

Chizuru looked around once more and decided to speak up. She ducked her head. "Please. Allow me to stay. I really have nowhere else to go"

Kondo sighed. "Of course I won't kick you out." He gave her an encouraging smile and continued. "You can continue helping out around here as well, I don't mind. You've been making really good food and tea and Hijikata seems to trust you. You can stay, Yukimura"

"Ah!" She beamed at him. "Thank you very much" she ducked her head once more. "Thank you"

"If that's the case then please leave us now. We've got things to discuss" Hijikata said rather coldly.

"Yes" she ducked her head and quickly disappeared from the room.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

"What are you doing out here?" Hijikata inquired upon spotting Chizuru curled up on the stairs in deep thought.

"Nothing" she replied weakly without even looking up at him.

The sun hasn't even risen yet and dawn was always the coldest at this time of year. Hijikata sighed. He was sure that no one was around so he stood closer to her. "You did well back there."

"I'm sorry. I caused you trouble."

"Tsk. I told you I handled it already so stop mopping around"

She looked up at him. "Sorry" she then gave him a smile.

Upon seeing her smile he looked away. "Jeez. Don't give me that look"

"Eh? What look?"

"Nothing" he crossed his arms.

"Things are getting more turbulent here in the capital" she stood up and turned to him. "Please take care of yourself"

"I will"

"I better get going. Someone might get up early and see us"

He placed a hand on her head. She looked up at him and caught that smile she rarely sees lately. "Go get some more sleep. You might still grow up"

"Even hibernating won't help me gain an inch"

He removed his hand from her head. "Don't worry. They may seem scary but they're a good bunch" he leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips. "I'd be back in three days"

She felt her cheeks heat up. "Alright" she nodded.

He moved away from her and started to walk back to his room. She watched him disappear from her sight before returning to her room as well.

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Hijikata have returned from his trip and Chizuru was sitting outside the steps of her room waiting for him. She was looking at the ground which had patches of snow here and there. She rubbed her hands together and clasped them. It was still dark and the sun won't appear till the next couple of hours. Suddenly something fell on her shoulders and familiar hands rested on them.

"We should really pick a better time to see each other." Hijikata said softly as he leaned down, his face next to hers.

She placed a hand on her shoulder and managed to grab a cloth. She pulled it off her back and held it in her hands with an elated expression on her face. "Thank you…you shouldn't have" she nestled the purple _haori_ in her arms.

"I wanted to get something prettier but you still have to dress as a man" he sat down next to her. A faint smile appeared on his lips as he watched her hold his gift dearly. That's how he wanted to see her, free from worries and contented _"But would I be able to keep you smiling like that?"_ he asked himself, knowing how terrible things are getting. He's got a lot on his hands and she might get dragged into chaos. Also they have to jump into action anytime and anything can happen in the midst of battle.

"Is something wrong?" Chizuru noticed how he was staring at her. He looked away and didn't respond. She reached for his hand and held it. His heat was transferring to her. The sudden contact sent bolts of desire throughout her body.

"I'm just thinking" he looked at her.

"About what" she moved herself closer to him.

Instead of a reply he got up and scooped her in his arms. Chizuru gasped and held tightly unto his sleeve in surprise. Quickly he got into her room, shutting the door firmly behind them. She placed an arm around his neck as he knelt to put her down the futon and started kissing him. It's been a while since they got this intimate and their urges are bursting.

His hands, which masterfully taken her clothes off, caressed her skin as he pulled her closer to him, making her body forget how cold it was outside. Sitting on his lap, she started trailing kisses in his shoulder then hid her face in the crook of his neck as he started fondling her mounds. She sat up then sat astride on his lap. She pulled the collar of his _kimono _off his shoulder with her teeth, leaving her hands busy removing his _hakama_. She shivered as his fingers ran down her backbone then traced a line to her hips which he held, pulling her to him. They paused to look at each other and began to kiss avidly.

He missed every inch of her. The way her skin feels against his, the way she tasted and her soft moans that drives him crazy. He placed both his hands on her bottoms. Lifting herself up on cue, she slowly filled herself with him, making him let out a moan. He felt her nails dig behind his shoulder as she started to move herself with his guidance. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. They paused to catch their breath and exchanged a kiss as they did so.

She placed a hand on his cheek which he took and kissed. "The sun's coming out soon"

"No, we still have a lot of time" he replied as he slowly laid her down. "I've held back long enough" he muttered with a small groan as he started moving in her once more.

She chuckled. "I know"

~~~o~~~o~~~o~~~

Chizuru opened her eyes and found the space next to her empty. It was already morning, that short while for burning passion was over. It wasn't that long but the time they just spent together compensated for their longing. She stroked the empty side of her futon and she can still feel the heat from his body in it. She closed her eyes and remembered the man who laid there next to her and smiled. She rolled to her side and reached for the purple _haori_. She sat up and wore it over her bare body, making her feel like she was still wrapped around his arms.

* * *

**Note: **If you've read this far, THANKS A BUNCH! Please do leave a review, it would be well appreciated :)) This is it for now... I've posted a number of chapter in one go since I'm finished with some of them but I just don't get to post them right away...so yeah :3 Not sure when I'll get to update this but it should be soon, since I've got the next chapters lined up already.


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